Poop is Not For Eating

I never thought I'd have to say that. It's not something Sesame Street goes over. Mr. Rogers never sang a catchy song about coprophagia. The poop-eating discussion doesn't usually enter the picture, because poop? Not so much for the eating!

But be prepared to have this discussion if you decide that it's all right to leave your pants-less baby on the floor for a minute while you check on dinner. Oh, you may hear a noise or two that makes you think, "Was that poop?" But when you go over to see what the noise was about, stick around a minute or two before deciding, "Nah, just gas." Seriously, wait a minute. If you don't, you may find only seconds later that your child--your sweet, darling, innocent baby--is belly-down in a smeared, poopy mess. And tasting it.

I wish I were making this scenario up. I really, really do. But no. I keep thinking about making a joke about the finest restaurants in France beginning to serve smeared floor-poop this season, but...ugh. Some things are just wrong.

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