Westley's Top Five: Baby Toys That Aren't Really Baby Toys

Actually, it turns out all the best baby toys aren't really baby toys. Everyone has heard of kids playing with the box the toy came in instead of the toy itself, but Westley's passion for "found object playthings" suggests that boxes are just the tip of the iceberg. He's fascinated by most everyday objects, especially those that can be found in a pocket or purse: wallet, keys, tube of lip balm. The following is the best of the best. As long as I keep these around, I can stay out of the toy department.

1. The Wii remote jacket. Rob spends a fair bit of time with the Wii remote, but prefers bareback gaming. He claims the silicone jacket makes it difficult to press the power button or change the batteries, and that he just doesn't like it. Of course, he wasn't about to throw it away, and decided to distract the baby with it one day. I thought he was crazy. "Why did you give him that?" But naturally Westley went nuts, squishing it and biting on it. It's lived in the diaper bag ever since.

2. Magazines. Smooth, shiny paper that makes an awesome sound when you crinkle it and can be torn into zillions of tiny pieces and strewn all over the living room? Awesome.

3. Kitchen utensils. My mom started Westley on these early, offering him reusable bag clips while she made dinner. He still has a favorite red clip, but he's moved on to silicone spatulas, whisks, and measuring spoons. Ladles are probably the biggest hit of all, as they're also excellent in the bath.

4. Produce. This is one I never would have guessed, and if you'd tried to warn me, I would have laughed at you. But fresh fruits and vegetables, it turns out, are super fun. I've been taking Westley to Yakima Fruit Market since he was eensy. A few months ago, I decided he was sturdy enough to sit in a shopping cart for our shopping trip and ditched the carrier. As I was pushing him along, pointing out produce, Westley lunged for the Walla Walla sweet onions. He managed to grab one the size of a small melon (witnessing his strength sometimes makes me question whether he could have been bitten by a radioactive ant), and promptly took a taste of the papery skin. He had onion breath for the rest of the day. Now, whenever we go to the fruit market, Westley practically demands an onion or an apple or a bell pepper to examine while we shop.

5. Cats. The cats want nothing to do with the baby. Occasionally, they try to walk on him like he's warm furniture or an extension of my lap, but mostly they just avoid him. And I think it only makes them more enticing. Westley would like nothing more than to pat, grasp, and pull at the cats for hours at a time. He's actually pretty gentle, having practiced on my parents' cats (who are much more tolerant than mine, and seem to understand that Westley is a "kitten"). He says "kee" for "kitty" when he sees them, but my girls aren't impressed at all. They'd rather keep their distance, thank you. I don't think they've figured out that Westley's getting faster all the time and will catch them. Oh, yes. He will.

Westley and Ursula: a LOLcat waiting to happen

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