Some FAQs

I'm finally getting around to answering these "Ask me anything" questions, and some of these were a little deeper than I was expecting but I'll do my best to answer them, and perhaps this will become the start of a new FAQ page.

1. What are your plans for #2?
I'm not sure when #2 will show up. Hopefully sometime next year. I have to live up to my name.

2. Do you feel you're too young to make any "permanent decisions" about the total number of kids you'll have?
Oh yes. As of now I'd like at least three kids but I know my mind changes a lot so ask me again in a year.

3. As of right now, how long do you plan to breast feed?
I'd like to breastfeed for a year. She still hasn't needed to supplement and now that we've made it to solids I think we'll make it to a year without needing formula. I don't see myself extending breastfeeding past a year though.

4. Do you and hub go on regular dates?
No. Isn't that sad? We've been on one solo date since Lil' J was born. I said we would make it regular but we have yet to find a babysitter, and feel bad asking friends. We're going to work on that this year.

5. Do you wish you had waited longer to TTC (and have baby J)...or do you wish you had done it sooner?
Oh man. Many times I wonder what I was so scared of and why I waited so long. Sometimes I do get frustrated with the time I have to spend away from her at work, and I wonder if I had waited until I had developed a career at home if it would have been better for us, but who knows when or if that will ever happen. I think she came at the perfect time and everything will work out.

6. How has baby J impacted your relationship as husband & wife?
I thought I'd be so jealous of their father/daughter relationship, and sometimes I am, but really the bond I have with her is so much stronger than I imagined. Because of this I think sometimes I tend to ignore my husband and not spend as much time connecting with just him. We both like spending time together as the three of us, but having a baby does change the dynamic of the husband/wife relationship. In some ways we are closer than ever, but I think we've grown more as a family than as a couple, and I want to work on that.

7. Do you get a lot of people who look at you funny because you obviously don't look exactly like your daughter? Does that bother you? How do you handle it?
I do get people who assume she's not mine, or give me a surprised look when I say she's mine, but I think some of her features are starting to look more like me, so it's becoming less common. It does bother me a little but I also have to laugh a little too. Oh, I also sometimes try to match her when we go out. It may be a little dorkie but I figure people assume we're related if we dress alike.

8. What is your dream job?
It used to be to be a reporter for the #1 news station in Atlanta but that's changed since having my daughter. As far as work goes I think I have the best job I could possibly have outside of the home for me. If I could take over for Oprah, it would be pretty awesome but other than that, I can't imagine it getting much better than this. Unless I was working from home, writing books, flying to NYC for occasional spots on the Today Show, and contributing for major parenting magazines. Ever heard of Denene Millner? I want to be her.

9. You refer sometimes to the LDS church, and I see that you are an active member. From a first-hand perspective what drew you to the church? Were you brought up LDS or did you convert? How would you say it affects your daily life choices...as in, do you ever wish that you could do things that are 'forbidden' by the church? And based on your experience, how do you intend to bring up Lil' J with regards to your faith?
My family joined and became active in the LDS church when I was about 11 years old. So I was somewhat brought up in the church, but by the time I hit my teenage years I was deciding to go for myself. There was something about the way I felt when I went, that even from a young age I was asking my family when we'd be going back.

I was drawn to the church by the strong message of family, the way I felt when I went, and how the people around me seemed to be so loving and genuine. My beliefs aren't just a religion to me it's really my lifestyle and it makes me so happy. The message of the LDS church is so positive, and uplifting, and about always striving to better yourself, which I think is important.

As far as things that are "forbidden," it's not much different than how my parents raised me. My parents never drank, smoked, or drank coffee. My mom always wore moddest clothing and never swore, even before we joined the LDS church. So none of these things have ever really been difficult for me to adjust to. It is weird when people act very shocked when they hear I don't drink. I don't think it's so weird.

I hope to raise my daughter the same way, with strong values.

10. Was it easy to lose the babyweight?
Yes and no. I haven't been weighing myself but I'm sure I'm not back down to my pre-baby weight. I also haven't been doing anything to loose it besides yoga once a week and about 15 minutes of cardio three or four nights a week (which I'm not sure if that even helps since you're suppose to do cardio for something like 30 minutes before you start burning fat). Breastfeeding I hear helps but it's not doing me as much good as I was hoping. I hear sometimes the last bit of fat your body doesn't shed off until you wean because it's got that "on reserve" for the baby.

11. How has your feelings about your body changed since giving birth?
I feel a lot more insecure. I'm not used to carrying extra weight around in places I didn't have it before. I'm trying to adjust and motivate myself to get back into shape.

12. Which baby gear do you use most often? More than you expected? Less than you expected? could you totally do without?
Without a doubt I use my wraps more than anything else. I have a Sugar Sweet Baby and a Moby. I use them WAY more than I expected. I thought I'd get annoyed carrying my baby around all of the time but I actually enjoy it and it's easier than holding her. I hardly ever use my stroller. I bought a swing and while she loved it for a few weeks it's in the corner now. I'd say other than that a pump was necessary, and now we're having fun with bath toys :) I think a lot of it depends on the baby though. Definitely don't buy it all new. You can get most of the stuff second hand for a fraction of the price and not feel bad if your baby doesn't like it.

13. I know that you had cankles, and I am wondering what you did to help relieve the swelling? By the end of the day my feet hurt and are very puffy.
I used compression hose and put my feet up when I got home at night. That helped a lot. Also drinking lots of water and cutting back on salt. I bought some lotion that was suppose to help with the swelling and I don't think it did much for it, but it was nice to say it helped and get my husband to rub my feet every night! 

13. I second the Mormon question! I'm really interested to know how big of an impact that plays in your life, marriage, parenting etc.? I'm about to sound dumb and I'm okay with that but.... don't they outwardly discourage interracial relationships? If so, how can you just ignore such an important aspect of the faith in your life? How will you address that with your daughter? The LDS church doesn't discourage interracial relationships. It's possible some people do but that happens in any religion. I remember someone in high school saying they weren't allowed to date outside of their race "because it's in the Bible." In my "preparation for marriage" class at BYU there was one line in a manual that says something to the effect of marrying someone from a starkly different social background may add stress to the marriage. Some people interpret that differently but it's definitely not frowned upon.

With my daughter, I'll teach her to love a man for who he is, not what he looks like, and if anyone--At church, at her school, anywhere, tries to tell her differently I'll be sure to correct them.

14. What about the clothes? Don't you have to wear certain undergarments all. the. time? I'm sure there are some aspects of the faith that are antiquated and outmoded, but then again, I could be wrong? I'm fascinated by all faiths and forms of spirituality and would love an in-depth look at LDS through your eyes.
I wear modest clothing long enough to be about down to my knees and shirts that cover my shoulders and don't swoop too low.

I didn't realize so many people had questions about my religion. For more information and people who can probably answer better than I can feel free to visit Mormon.org.

13. I am dealing with infertility and would love your advice.I'm so sorry for the challenge you're going through. Personally I haven't had to face infertility so I can't offer much advice in that department. I know there are many online resources to help. I used a program called Circle and Bloom which is aimed to help people going through infertility. But perhaps an infertility blogger like Naomi may have better at advice.

14. Where on Earth do you find time to blog, Twitter, Facebook, and do all the other social networking stuff that you do? How do you do it ALL???How do I do it all? Well, I don't! I get a lot of help from my husband. My house is a wreck 95% of the time. I blog when everyone is asleep, I tweet while I'm waiting in line, waiting at red lights, breastfeeding, or going to the bathroom. I usually get the urge to write once or twice a week and I try to jot down my thoughts while I'm in the mood or I forget it. If I can't get on my laptop, I'll type it on my phone, or even voice-memo myself with phrases or ideas I'm thinking of then type it all up later and save them in my drafts to post throughout the week.

15. Tell me about your hair. What is your regimen? (Do you go to the salon or do it yourself?) Do you have a relaxer? Do you wear a weave or is it all yours? Have you always had THAT much hair? It's beautiful!
Thank you so much! I'm embarrassed to say this but I don't have a hair regimen. I wish I did. If I'm lucky I wrap it at night, or put it in rollers but mostly I put it up in a bun, sleep on it and brush/curl it before work. I go to the salon every 3-4 weeks and get it washed, blown dry and flat ironed. I don't wash it in between. I've never had a relaxer or color, and it is all my hair, haha. I did have braids one summer, and wore half weave of a lighter brown color when I wanted a "highlights" look.

Yes, I have always had "THAT much hair" but my sisters don't, so I'm not exactly sure how it got this way. I can already tell my daughter is going to have a head full too. Yikes!

Blogging Tips

Two years ago today I started this blog, not sure when I would be ready to have a baby. Now, I'm constantly hitting the "delete" key as my 5 month old daughter smashes the keys while she sits in my lap.

Last night I realized today marks two years of having this blog so I'm skipping a week of posting What I'm Makin' Monday.

I get emails almost on a weekly basis asking tips for having a "successful blog." While this is very flattering, I never know what to say because when I started this blog, I didn't set out for this to be where is is today.

I decided to sit down and think about what I've done and how after two years, I've ended up here. 

1. Do You
Be yourself.
Don't try to be like someone else.
Just write like you talk--Or how you think.

2. Make Friends
Interact with those who have blogs similar to yours.
Twitter and TheSitsGirls are good resources for that!
Visit their blogs, say "hi"
Thank your readers regularly.

Thank you!

3. Update Regularly
Be a little predictable.
Not in your writing, but in how often you post.
You don't have to post every day, but try to keep it regular.
Whether it's once a day, week, or once a month.
Keep it consistent so people know when to come back

4. Spell Check and Edit
Don't freak out about it. Just try.
It helps a lot, and shows you care.
But don't get offended if you miss something and someone points it out to you.
It's better than people secretly snickering. Thank them profusely and fix it.

(This has gotten infinitely more difficult for me since having my daughter, so some days it's worth it to write my post one day, then post the next after I have a day to edit it. I've accidentally posted too early before and it bothers me having typos, so I'm thankful for my friends who point them out for me to fix.)

5. Find Your Niche
What sets your blog apart from others?
Focus on that.
But don't be afraid to mix it up from time to time.
You never know if a new topic will spark a new focus.

6. Ask Yourself "Why am I Blogging?"
Are you blogging to have fun?
For family?
To get free stuff?
To one day write a book?
To try to make an extra income?
In hopes of quitting your day job?

Figure you why you're doing it and remember that's why you're doing it. If you forget why you started in the first place, it can make it hard to stay motivated.

Also, know this can evolve over time. This started as a diary where I could creatively express myself and has turned into more involving some reviews, and some researched-based posts. When I start doing too much of those things though I get bored with myself and miss my "diary days."

About "Sponsorships"
I get a lot of questions about getting sponsored for things, sponsors on your blog, or sponsors for giveaways, reviews, etc. This is something that's evolved a lot since my blog began. When I was getting ready to TTC, I would seek out sponsors to review their fertility products, and do giveaways on my blog etc. But by the time I was pregnant, I didn't need to write to companies, as I had formed my niche and people wrote to me, asking to be sponsors for different pregnancy products etc. Now, I have to decline most review requests, but I still accept giveaway request because I like to give back to my readers. So here's some tips:

7. Find Your Niche
Sound familiar? What's your blog about? What kind of things do you want to sponsor you?
If you're a mom with kids in elementary school, and would like to review learning materials, it makes sense.
But if you're a mom who blogs about fashion and reviews baby products, it doesn't make sense.
Well, unless you're reviewing baby fashion products. Get it?

8. Don't Feel Like You Have to Say Yes to Everything
If your purpose is to review anything and everything on an all encompassing "review blog" still, don't feel like you have to accept everything. I was once offered to do a review/giveaway of my choice of sex toy. While--considering the title of my blog--I could have twisted it fit in with "baby making," that's not something I write about, nor would I feel comfortable reviewing. So I respectfully declined.

I also don't write about cooking or cleaning products because I don't really do that stuff. But I will soon, so maybe one day I will.

9. Reach Out
The name of the game in LIFE is connections. Reach out and get connected with people who are doing what you want to do. I'm a strong believer in having a "mentor"--No, several! With anything you want to get better at. Find someone you look up to and reach out to them. Don't be offended if they don't respond, it's not personal, you know how busy life can get!

There are forums for moms who like to review things. I'm not familiar with many but I know MomDot has one, and Mom Bloggers Club.

10. Start Small
When you're ready to start doing reviews, don't go for the big fish right off the bat. Start small. You can contact companies about a review, but don't expect to always get a yes. Companies will look at your blog, your following, and want to know your statistics. But once you get some reviews under your belt, you can move up to "bigger things."

You can also start by reviewing products you already have at home. If you're wanting to get into electronic reviews, review your home TV, your universal remote, your new MP3 player, your Blue Ray, you get the idea.

11. Don't Wait to be Contacted
If you really want to review that new children's book on your blog there are a few things you can do. 1. Of course buy it and write about it. Or 2. Contact them and tell them about who you are, your blog, and why it would be beneficial for them to send you a copy to review and how doing a giveaway also would build even more excitement for it.

12. When it Comes to Advertising...
~Only work with those you can truly stand behind. It's not a good idea to accept a formula ad if you're anti-formula.
~Be realistic in what you charge.
~Don't expect to get rich. When people assume I'm making lots of money from this blog I chuckle. Ad space and reviews aren't where the money is. I have a full time job and that's how I pay my bills. I'm not saying it can't be done, I'm just saying most people aren't making a living off of their personal blogs.

And finally...

13. When You Gain Momentum and Clout
~Know that people will be mean. There's a sweet blogger I read who has over 8000 followers. People get jealous and stoop to low levels to try to bash her. Calling her names and making fun of her daughter. She writes things just about any other mom would blog about, but when you are very visible it's easier for people to try to shoot you down. If they hated your writing/photos/opinions so much they wouldn't be reading, much less taking the time to tell you about it.

Keep doing you and ignore the madness. Well, unless you're Heather Armstrong aka Dooce, and decide to start Monetize the Hate--a whole separate site filled with ads alongside the hate mail she gets.

Remember, for every 1 hater you have 755Xs more people who love you (hypothetically speaking).

See #1!

Happy Blogging!

Ask Me Anything!

I haven't done one of these posts in awhile and lately I've been getting quite a few emails with questions for me and I try my best to reply to them all but it's really hard! So I'm going to make an FAQ page and add the questions I get most.

It's okay if you don't have a common question, or want to ask anonymously. I'll answer all of them sometime next week in another post, and put any duplicates or ones I've gotten emails about on my FAQ page.

Thanks and Happy Saturday!

The Questions, Questions Anyone?

I almost didn't post today because my internet was getting transfered ahhhh! But alas! My computer is connected to Ethernet at the moment and I will soon find and unpack my wireless modem. Anywho...

Lately I've been noticing a few questions in the comments section. Usually I'll answer them directly in an email but then I was thinking "Hey, maybe someone else has the same question!" So, the next day or two... (Or forever until I get a bunch to answer), I'll open it up to questions??. If there's something you want to know about me, ask away! I don't believe in TMI, but others out there may, so maybe I'll leave the "possibly TMI" ones at the end or something as a warning to those who may not want to know that detail. So from my favorite color to my magic number of children, I'm game! I'll compile all of the questions into a post like this one but hopefully there will be more questions :o)

I'll start with a few questions I've already gotten so I don't forget:
1. Don't Be a Slut and Jaime have a similar question: What does your hubby think about your baby obsession?/ I'm just wondering how your husband feels about all of this baby talk?

Answer: As far as baby talk pertaining to the blog: He's happy I have a ventilation system. He knows I love to write, and he's glad that I'm excited to have a new avenue to write in. However he's a VERY private person so he does often say "Why did you write about that? Who cares?" As far as baby talk in general: It has toned down a lot since I started blogging about it. He knows I'm excited to have kids and that I like to blab about it a lot. He sometimes teases me about it but I think he thinks it's cute :)

2. From Anonymous commented on my Trip Part 3 post.: I'm certainly not trying to judge - but I got a little confused by seeing your wardrobe choices on your vacation. You did get married in the temple, right?
I just didn't notice any garments in several pictures. I am curious as to your opinion on this matter since you seem to be so open minded and willing to answer questions honestly.
I really hope this doesn't bother you, I am just curious!

Answer: I am very open (hopefully not too much) :o) Well, 90%... No, more like 99% of the trip I was wearing a bathing suit. I usually don't wear my Gs while I'm wearing bikinis. I wore cover-ups over my bathing suits which, while it made me look covered up for beach wear, it still is technically "immodest." The other 1% of the time I was either 1. Naked or 2. Throwing a dress and shrug over my bathing suit. Not much underwear wearing on my trip! ...I never said I was perfect.

As far as my opinion on the subject matter in general, I of course believe you should wear them all the time, I love mine! And that's really all I can say. I'm the LAST person to ask someone else about their garment-wearing situation. I don't really feel like it's any of my business. If I happen to notice someone isn't wearing them I can honestly say I don't assume the situation, I just really don't care.

3. And a few were wondering how my husband didn't know about this Blog.

Answer: He just joined Facebook, doesn't really understand blogging, and I'm just getting into it myself. I know he's private and he was already teasing me about things I'd write in our family blog so I just didn't tell him for awhile. I thought I'd tell him about it one day, maybe when we were expecting... But I guess he knew more about Facebook than I thought cause one day I mentioned something about a "baby bucket list" and he mentioned seeing it already here! I was a little embarrassed at first but now I'm so glad he knows cause I tell him all about what I'm writing and what yall say and write about!

***

Ok so that's all of the questions I can remember for now! I may or may not be as elaborate in other questions you may have. Ask anything, really! And if you want you can ask anonymously. Meanwhile, I'm thinking of some questions I have for you all as well, to answer for me in another post!