Thumbs down: Frank Lickliter

I only just realized that I've been super nice lately, and there's been no Thumbs Down posts in ages. So I had a little hunt around, and found this:

Golfer, Frank Lickliter welcomed twin boys, Storm and Steele.

http://www.celebrity-babies.com/2008/01/frank-lickliter.html

It seems that parents of twins often seem to get it wrong.

Grade: C-

Comments: There are three major problems with these names.

Problem one: For twins, they're too similar. Twins already have issues with identity and being similar, and giving them similar names just exacerbates this. It also leads to problems when calling a name across the house and neither child quite catching which one is being called.

Problem two: They're so unusual that they will lead to teasing and don't give the child room to grow in whatever field they want. For example, can you really imagine without grinning a man called Dr. Storm? I can only imagine the teasing he'll get when he's in a bad mood. "You're in a stormy mood" etc. And kids can just get plain annoying sometimes finding it hilarious to repeat over and over to him saying "Hey Storm, theres a storm coming"
And Steele? What if Steele decides to be a ballet dancer or is just a very sensitive guy? The name doesn't give him a lot of room to be the person he might want or need to be. And the kid will be in big trouble if he ever steals in his teenage years, imagine the teasing!

Problem three: The names don't have "normal" nicknames to fall back on if they dislike have such unusual names at any stage in their lives.

Things to work on for next time: Choosing names which aren't too similar, choosing names which aren't so unusual or strange that they'll bring on teasing in the child future and choosing unusual names with normal nicknames.

Thumbs down: Damian Lewis and Helen McCrory

British Actors Damian Lewis and Helen McCrory welcomed their son: Gulliver.

http://www.celebrity-babies.com/2007/11/actors-damian-l.html

Grade: C +

Comments: Gulliver. Huh? Out of all the names you could possible choose, they chose Gulliver? Huh? Gulliver is probably most well known from the stories, Gullivers Travels. Which was a SATIRE novel. It followed the adventure of Lemuel Gulliver. You know what Gulliver probably stood for? Gullible. And even if it doesn't, i'm sure there'll be plenty of people calling him Gullible Gulliver over the years. Poor kid. What will they call him for short? Gull? Gull is a pesky bird which lives on beaches and tries to steal food. They really thought about that one, didn't they.

(On an off-topic note, their daughter is named Manon?? Manon??? Who names their little girl something that start with "Man"??? I understand there are names like Manuela, but they have a pretty feminine "ella" sound at the end. Thats just terrible. These people are serial offenders.)

Things to work on for next time: Not trying to get such an unique name that its obscure, researching into names before giving them, thinking about nicknames, thinking about other words which may sound very similar to your child's name.

Thumbs down: Jaci Velasquez

Christian singer Jaci Velasquez welcomed her baby son: Zealand David.

http://www.celebrity-babies.com/2007/11/jaci-velasquez.html

Grade: C+

Comments: Whoa. This takes naming children after places to a whole new level. Zealand?? What? I know people are calling their kids Brooklyn, Adelaide and Sydney, but Zealand? What the? And after choosing a very crazy first name, you pair it with David? One of the most plainest names for boys? Jeez. Poor kid. Thats like naming your child Treminia Jessica. It just doesn't work.. Furthermore, we've got some real bad sound patterning rules being broken here. The ending "D" sound in Zealand, and the starting "D" sound in David, run into each other. And because both names end in "D" it stops it from flowing nicely.

What to work on for next time: Thinking more carefully about "unique" names after countries, pairing names more appropriately and sorting out sound patterns so names flow better.

Thumbs down: Milla Jovovich

Actress Milla Jovovich has recently welcomed her daughter Ever Gabo.

http://www.celebrity-babies.com/2007/11/milla-jovovich-.html

Grade: C +

Comments: As often seen, celebrity Milla has tried to come up with a 'cool' and 'unusual' name for her new daughter. Virtue names are increasingly popular lately, and while i'm not totally against them they have to be appropriate (i'll post more on this later). The name Ever is cute, but doesn't really work in this context and would probably be a lot sweeter as a middle name. Speaking of middle names Gabo??? What kind of middle name is that? Here in Australia people call Garbage men Garbo's which is pronounced the same way, what a terrible thing to name your daughter. I know sometimes people use maiden names in their history to name their children but this is highly innapropriate (more posts on this at a later date, too.)

What to work on for next time: Seriously considering with virtue names are working (they're hard to place), and not choosing disgusting names with no prettiness no matter what the personal meaning.

Thumbs down: Garcelle Beauvais-Nilon

http://www.celebrity-babies.com/2007/10/garcelle-beau-1.html

Actress Garcelle Beauvais-Nilon welcomed twin boys Jax Joseph and Jaid Thomas.

Grade: D

Comments: Wow, two chances, and still no results. Maybe she should have had triplets so at least there would be a chance of third time lucky. Jax is a terrible mis-spelling which may look trendy now but will look idiotic when he's a 60 year old grandpa. There are many subtle ways of using sound patterns in your child names, but alliteration (using two names starting with the same letter) is so tacky. Even worse is both the boys names start with J. Thats just cruel. (I'll give the topic of twins names later on.) And Jaid?? Are you kidding? Firstly its spelled retarded. And secondly, its a boy... some might thing its cute to give girls "unisex" and "tomboy" names but you want a girly son?? (More talk on unisex names, later, also). Poor kids. I wish they were named Jack, Joseph or Thomas.

What to work on for next time: Properly spellings of names, no doubling up on starting letters or in siblings first name starting letters, no inherent girls names for boys.