The False Alarm

So this is how it all went down.

I had a dream about being pregnant with twins. I woke up, and that was the first day I'd ever been late.. At least that I can remember. Days 2 and 3 late went by and I began to wonder, for real. I had never been this late before. Late day 2 I took another test... Correctly. Negative.

I wasn't about to take another one on Day 3, but I did decide to look over my charts. I noticed my temperature went up a few days later than it normally does, (which means ovulation is later as well) BINGO! That's why she was running late! So as I expected, when day 30 rolled around so did day one... Thank you "Taking Charge of Your Fertility"... great book by the way. If you don't like hormones and want to prevent "naturally" try this out.
I almost bought a First Response early detection test but... I decided against it since I was highly doubting being with-spawn.

And another thing. I'm beginning to think, either this stuff is more effective than everyone thinks (it says 94% on the box) or I'm not gonna get knocked up as easy as I'd like to when the time comes. I'm actually a little worried about that... I guess we'll see what happens.

My BFF was totally hoping I was pregnant. I actually think she may be doing some voodoo to try to make it happen.

Anyway, that was my first real false alarm in I don't know how long! It wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. Perhaps because I don't feel like a matter of months doesn't make that much of a difference.

Have you been there with false alarms? I'm sure there are more horrible stories than mine, and I only imagine it'll be worse when it's what I actually want.

The Dream Was a Premonition

When I heard the trailer to New Moon was going to be released during the MTV Movie awards I knew I had to set my DVR. Luckily I was able to catch it before I left work, and my friend and I watched it not once, but three-times! Woohoo Jacob is lookin' good. I was an Edward fan but seeing these characters in life-form is turning me over to Team Jacob's side... I mean NOW I understand why Bella had such a hard time choosing! ...Anyway, I watched the preview for a fourth time once I got home, with my husband, and watched a little more of the awards. Ok people. Twilight was ok but I don't think it deserved ALL of those awards.

I think all that award-watching set me up for my dream last night. I was in the audience at the MTV Movie Awards, and they had just gotten done announcing the last award. But after the show was off of TV Christie and Lorraine of The Blogrollers had one last award to give out. The Blog Roller 4th Wheel winner.

I sat in my seat, anxious, waiting for them to announce the winner. They stood up at the podium holding the popcorn trophy and said "And the winner is...." "BABY MAKIN' MACHINE!!"

I was so excited, I was going to go to BlogHer '09 with The Blogrollers!

This morning I woke up and checked out their website first thing to see if they had posted the winner yet.-- They hadn't. I checked their Twitter page to see if there was any hint of the announcement--There wasn't yet. So I tweeted for a little bit that morning before I got ready to go out to see "Up," right before I closed my computer I checked my @ replies on Twitter one more time and saw a few people had told me what I had been hoping to hear somehow "The Blogrollers just announced you're the 4th Wheel, Congrats!!" I was so excited... But wait, was this some sick joke? How did they know?

That's when I realized Chatterbox had announced it live on her blog radio show, I tuned in to hear the end, debated calling in, but decided not to. But sure enough, they told me I had won! I was so excited! You can read the post here. I re-listened to the show so I could hear when the announced the winner, it was really cool. I know it must have been such a hard decision for the judges but I'm SO glad they picked me and I won't let them, or any of you down!!

So the announcement wasn't MTV awards and golden-popcorn trophies but it was close... and I dreamt it the night before! So doing some side-by-side comparisons, and if my dreams are accurate, and in fact premonitions--and I had a dream about winning the Blogrollers contest the night before it happened, and a dream about being pregnant with twins the night before aunt flow missed her appointment, then maybe.... Nah. I'm still thinking no. But we'll see. There are ups and downs with this theory. See, ups... No more debating, it's taken care of. Downs... I didn't get a baby-makin'moon, and the fertility yoga I was about to start would pretty much be pointless. So to be honest, I'd be happy either way... I think.

Hubby is up to speed, we're playing the waiting game. I took another test yesterday... correctly and it was negative. That gave me a little piece of mind but still no visitor, and she's never gone this long without stopping by, pre or post hormones. Pre-hormones I was 28 days, during I was 28 days and since (for 2 months) it's been 26 days, and today is day 29. So.... Yea, we'll see.

My mom said with all of us her tests didn't show up positive for three months so I'm wondering if there could be some genetic thing possibly? Either now or down the line. I dunno. I think I'm just running a little behind... Which would also be annoying cause that would mean from now on my cycle could be all screwy and different, when I'm use to it being dead on!... Confusing!

I'm trying to think if I feel any different and I really don't. I have been more sleepy, and taking more naps lately but that's the only thing that seems like a symptom. I am peeing a little more, but I think that's because I keep checking for my friend. My boobs don't hurt. I'm not sure what else I should notice but I feel fine.

So was that a premonition? I guess we'll see.

****

PS: I'm not the only winner today, here are the winners of my super-spitter burp cloth giveaway! Brought to you by Momma Bee's Etsy Shop Lil Bees!
According to random .org the first winner is:
#29 Kathi who said: "Hello..ok I love C... and I subscribe to your blog! love it!" Well, C it is! Congrats!
The second winner is #22 Valerie! I know you also wanted C, but I'm sure your new grandson coming in September will still appreciate the super-spitter crayon design! It's still very absorbent so if he's a projectile vomiter, I think he'll like it :)
And finally the 3rd winner is also in the 20s...
#27 Nichole who said "Love the zigzag stitching. . . I'd have to choose A." And she wanted A! Nichole that's coming right your way!

Winners, email me your addresses to babymakingmachine(at)gmail(dot)com

Hope you all had fun playing! Check out my other giveaways ending soon!!

The Vivid Dreams

I woke up from a crazy one Sunday morning thinking it was real. I had two dreams that I could remember that night. Both very vivid, and while not as strange as this one, still quite strange.

The first one, was a little gross. I know is because I've been thinking so much about my friend. As I have been the last few days, I kept running to the bathroom to check and see if she had arrived. Every time she hadn't. I started to think less about it and that's when my friend caught me by surprise like a flood! No really, I couldn't contain it, it was embarrassing. I tried to run to the shower to get cleaned up, and tried not to slip on the way.

Luckily, I don't remember any more of that dream.

In my second dream, once again I was confused because my friend had not shown up, but I felt confidant that I wasn't pregnant. I took a pregnancy test, it came back negative, and I felt relieved but still confused.

One of my friends was getting a really weird--Only in a strange dream-- Kind of ultrasound, and while I was next to the technician I told her what my problem was and asked if she could check me out.

As she was examining my insides she said, "Yep, you're pregnant, I can hear their heart beats."

"Their?" I asked confused.

"Yes, you're pregnant with twins!"

And that's when my attitude, even in my dreams took a 180. I was SO excited that I was pregnant with twins. I tried to call my husband to tell him the good news but he was on the phone talking to someone else.

I was so excited and paranoid at the same time. I had to drive home from wherever I was and it was raining and I was lost. The only thing I could think about was that I needed to be safe and keep the babies safe.

In my dream I kept thinking to myself 'I can't believe I'm pregnant, I can't believe I'm having twins' and I started to wake up from the dream still thinking that. It wasn't until I was completely awake and about to get out of bed I realized I had dreamt it all... And I was really sad. I'm still surprised by my reaction.

Is my subconscious telling me something? Do you ever have crazy dreams like this?

The BIG Ooops!

This morning, I woke up kind of wondering why I haven't been having my normal monthly signs that I normally do a day or so before she shows up. Well, I got a little curious and decided to bust out one of my dollar store pregnancy tests and pee on it... You know, just for fun (Yea, I do that from time to time).

I was a little sad I was about to break my streak. I've gone YEARS without pregnancy paranoia and I was about to ruin it!

When I opened the box all of this stuff fell out... a small test, a packet of some stuff to keep it fresh, and a droplet thing that I was apparently suppose to use but didn't. I didn't have time to pee in a cup then dip the droplet thing then drip a little in the little hole... So I just peed straight on the stick, trying to get a good amount in the hole.

As I watched the ENTIRE screen turn pink I wondered if I 1. was WAY pregnant or 2. put WAY too much pee in the hole. I think it was the latter.

After a few moments I saw the line I was waiting for cross the screen and display one...tw?.. No one line, and exactly what I wanted to see. I put all of the contents back in the box and hit it under a few things in the trashcan. No need to freak hubby out... Yet.

I went on through my normal day, at work. Come afternoon, I was talking to one of my best friends on the phone. We were talking about our paranoia for illness and I was explaining my hypochondriac-self, and how I had taken a pregnancy test in the morning and quickly threw it away. That's when she brought a good point to light.

"Well did you wait three minutes?" She asked me. "You're suppose to wait three minutes... Go brush your teeth or something while you're waiting, then go back to look at it."

I'm pretty sure I only waited about 30 seconds before seeing one line and throwing it away.

When I was done with work I rushed home and up the stairs to the trashcan and dumped the contents of the box out on the counter (eew I know, but don't worry I cleaned it up!)

The test looked different than it did earlier that morning. That can't be two lines... No. I'm hallucinating. One line was dark, the other very faint, but not exactly over the little letter that it should be over to signify pregnancy. Wait.. Was there a third line? What does that mean? Or is there just a second one in a different spot? My eyes are playing tricks on me. I broke the test! No, I don't want to take another one, then I'll really be crazy! And I can't take it to my husband to examine cause... Well that could just be ugly. I'm pretty sure I either left it there too long or I peed on it too much, cause I know I'm not pregnant.

Now I'm tiptoeing around. Waiting for my visitor, aka "witch" to some but for now "goddess" to me, to show up for her appointment. If she's not here waiting for me tomorrow morning I just. may. freak. !

I must add though that since this morning I'm starting to feel my usual symptoms I feel about this time so I'm sure I'll feel worse/better tomorrow and that I didn't just announce my pregnancy to the world-wide-web before I did to my husband/ myself.

PS: Today is still my half-blogiversary, celebrate with me on the post below!

The Bad Joke

It seemed like a good idea at the time. I'd heard of other women pulling similar pranks and I decided to give it a try. I was out with my friends and had a brilliant plan. I called my husband, told him I wasn't feeling well... I hadn't been for awhile. Told him I wasn't sure if my IUD was still in the right position and wasn't sure when I last had my period... Could I be pregnant? He told me I should get a test on the way home and we'd find out that night... Little did he know that's exactly what I wanted him to say.

I had a plan.. A friend of a friends had recently found out she was pregnant. Apparently she didn't believe first because it took not one, but about 5 positive results for it to sink in. Lucky for me she had some extra positive results test lying around so she gave one to me.

I got home, and although it was late, Boo still wanted me to take the test that night. "It works better in the morning" I told him, but he didn't care.

I went in the bathroom, stared in the mirror and practiced my best serious/scared/happy face I could put on... No laughing allowed.

When I walked out of the bathroom and into the bedroom I put all of my best acting skills into this one moment. I didn't say anything at first... I decided letting him make the first move would be the best idea.

"So?" he asked simply. I told him the results were positive and he didn't believe me. "Is this an April fools joke?" he asked. I showed him the test with two lines and the key below which plainly stated two lines = pregnant.

The shocked look on his face was priceless. But it wasn't exactly what I was expecting. To be honest I was expecting panic, maybe even anger, but he didn't show any of that. He looked almost happy... Almost.

I initially thought I'd keep the joke going through the next day... Make him sleep on it. But his reaction made me feel bad.

"How do you feel?" he asked me. I told him I didn't know and he told me he was a little scared. BINGO!

That joke was played two years ago and we can kind of laugh at it now. Looking back I know he was ready to make the commitment then because then to him it was a reality facing him. I broke the good/bad news and he was pretty ticked--Understandably. I told him I was planning to keep the joke going through the next day but he told me he was glad I didn't because he would have wanted to tell his whole family the news.

I swore I wouldn't tell him I was pregnant again until I know I am for sure.

The Time of the Month

I'm a hypochondriac. I self-diagnose myself with all kinds of diseases. From brain tumors and femoral torsion to dyslexia and narcolepsy... I also am pretty sure I have a heart disease because my limbs are too long and a doctor told me that once. I think I'm bi-polar and could have some kind neurodegenerative disease that causes amnesia. That's just the short list. Basically any new disease I hear about is the reason I am the way I am. I've had to tone my doctor's visits down a bit since I've been married and had to pay my own co-pay but I still make an occasional visit to make sure I don't have cancer.

This month I've been having the most intense cravings. It's just one of my monthly signs that tells me I'm pregnant. I'm not just "hungry for something"... I would do anything to have a strawberry frostingless Poptart!... Or some California rolls--Then a few hours later an apple! Usually my hunger cravings aren't so bad, it's usually the sleepiness and the boob soreness that makes me think I'm pregnant. Yea, that's right...I have monthly pregnancy scares.

You'd think I'd learn my lesson but no... I don't know how many times I've bought a pregnancy test a day too early. What's up with that?