Westley and I were at the pool recently, playing in the lobby after swimming, minding our own business. Out of nowhere, a little boy I didn't know toddled over to me, looked up at me with giant chocolate-kiss eyes and raised his arms in the universal "pick me up" sign.
"Are you coming up to me?" I couldn't believe it. I know I have some power over little men, but this seemed insane.
He just stared, undeterred by my hesitation.
"All right..." I picked him up, and he immediately wrapped his legs tightly around me, like a monkey.
I heard a woman's voice behind me, over my right shoulder. "He really likes moms."
"Oh, uh, okay..."
It turned out he was close to Westley's age. I kept waiting for the mother to take him from me, say something to him like, "Brady, we don't usually get picked up by people we don't know." She just stood there, alternating between smiling at the toddler in my arms and his slightly older brother who was playing quietly on the floor. After a few minutes, the little boy slithered out of my arms and ran off to play like nothing had happened.
I'm oddly flattered that a toddler who doesn't know me wants me to hold him. But I'm also sort of creeped out by the whole incident, particularly the boy's mother's attitude.
Westley is usually a friendly dude. He flirts with everyone, but he especially loves late-teens/early-twenty-something girls and any woman who looks like she could be a grandma (which works out pretty well for him, as these two demographics are generally more than happy to flirt right back). If Westley sees a woman with a child, he'll point and announce, "Mama!" But I'm certain he would never in a million years go up to a stranger and ask to be picked up. And if he did? I might quietly freak out.
Rob and I took Westley to a barbecue on Sunday where he was the only person under 25. It was a little overwhelming for his toddler-senses (especially since there were three dogs running around). After Westley had been introduced to a few people, he started to cry and cling to me. I felt bad for him, but I was also a little relieved. "We're not going to give you to anyone," I reassured him, and took him into a quiet room to cuddle and calm down.
I'm all for children being confident around people they've never met. I internalized the whole "stranger danger" message a little too strongly as a child, and subsequently ended up overly anxious and afraid in situations where there were people I didn't know. Confidence and a feeling of general security is invaluable. But there's also developmental appropriateness to consider.
An adorable child who wants to be in my arms is, well, adorable. But it worries me to think of a toddler with so little stranger anxiety. And it worries me more to think that the mother of such a toddler would be so blasé about it.
