Sunday, March 28, 2010

On the Cusp of a Nervous Breakdown

This morning I woke up, looked at my iPhone countdown and realized there's approximately 90 days until Ladybug arrives. 90 freaking days. Then I turned at looked at her room and my body filled with anxiety.

13 weeks, three months, 90 days. However you want to look at it, it's not that far away. Remember how quickly that 90 day warranty ran out on your expensive washing machine? That's how long I have. And while I've crossed off much on my baby shopping list I feel like there's still so much more to do.

I STILL haven't put up her crib. Why am I putting the crib up? Read that explanation here. I still need a dresser. I have nothing on the walls, I need to find a border to decorate the room with, buy a car seat, so we can actually take her home, and finally start buying diapers.

I hardly get any time to do these things since I work so much. And then when people at work get mad at me for messing up the spelling of something I want to scream at them and say: "YEA? WELL I STILL HAVEN'T PRE-WASHED MY CLOTHES!" I mean really... What's more important?

I KNOW I still have time. I know it's not the end of the world and that lots of people set things up long after the baby is born, but I am just one of those people who likes to get big projects done early. ESPECIALLY when I have no idea when she actually will come. I sometimes worry she'll come a month early and nothing will be ready.

Don't even get me started on the fact that we haven't started looking for a pediatrician yet. I'm not sure where to start. I am already signed up for my Lamaze class, and set to get prepped for labor but that's ONE DAY of this entire HUGE process!

I would love to have a mattress for her bed, crib and dresser set up, and room decorated by the end of April. That would give me another two months to deep clean my house, stock up on more diapers, and just relax the rest of my pregnancy.

Part of me is so overly excited to meet her and I want the last few months to fly by, but another part of me enjoys being pregnant, and planning and preparing.

I'm used to working on deadlines, but I've gotta say, this is my scariest one to date.