Tuesday, March 23, 2010

What Flavor is My Baby?

I've had a few dreams where my baby comes out completely white. She looks nothing like me... Blond hair, loose curls, big blue eyes. While I loved her in my dream I still felt a little disconnected because she didn't look anything like me. It felt like I was handed a friend's baby to permanently take care of.

One of the biggest mysteries after finding out the sex of your baby (I don’t know how people can wait an extra 20 weeks) is wondering what she’ll look like when she’s born. Many new parents -- especially moms-to-be -- bask in their daydreams of straight—No, curly hair. 3D and 4D ultrasounds can help answer some of the questions before they’re born. If you’re wondering what shape their ears are, or if she has your lips. I’m still thinking about getting one.

Spawnie has 23 of my chromosomes, and 23 of her daddy’s. It’s split! Fifty-fifty. But while most people would be betting on her eye or hair color I’m thinking about something totally different all together -- Her skin color.

My uncle married a light-skinned woman from Nicaragua, and he jokingly categorizes the way his kids came out. “The chocolate” and “the vanilla” ones, he’ll say, pointing to my two darker skinned cousins, beside their lighter-skinned siblings. It’s really quite fascinating.

My husband is white. He has blond hair and blue eyes. He tans well but he’s pretty much as white as they come. Ever since we started talking about having children we’ve been debating what color they’ll come out.

We are friends with another interracial couple who complexion wise looks a lot like us. We all spent a lot of time together in college and just before graduation they had their first baby. He’s one of the most beautiful babies I’ve ever seen, but it’s incredible to see what shade he came out!

I know people say kids darken as they get older but if you saw this toddler now you’d still be surprised. He has beautiful, fine goldilocks and big bright blue eyes. My friend says she may not have believed he was her own had she not birthed him herself.

They’re pregnant now with their second child and maybe it’s just me, but I’m really anxious to see what flavor the next one is!

My husband jokes with me, teases me, saying our daughter is going to come out completely white. I just worry that if that’s the case, between our tanning sessions, people will ask me silly questions. You know how people like to talk. My friend mentioned earlier said people have mistaken her as the nanny before and see -- I’m not sure I’d be able to handle that in a nice way. Or what if our daughter takes more of my complexion, and when my husband’s out he’s asked where he got our daughter from, implying she’s adopted. I’m not sure he’d be able to respond to that in a nice way (that's just one of my worries for my birracial child).

I suppose it comes as a part of the full package: Beautiful child -- ignorant comments.

I was debating getting a 3D ultrasound to see what our little girl looks like. Part of me wants to know if she has my cheeks, forehead, eye shape, or nose. My husband says we should wait and see what she looks like when she comes out. Maybe we should. Besides, technology hasn’t advanced enough to where 3D ultrasounds can tell me the flavor of our baby.

Oh, and check out these twins!

This is part of today's post I originally wrote on my blog for Parenting.com. Yep, I have a blog there too on Project Pregnancy. Check it out for more pregnancy updates and rants.