Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Love Lessons

Whenever I bring out the camera, Westley gets excited. Taking pictures together is a great way to fill that lazy time in the afternoon before Rob gets home, especially if it also happens to be too cold and rainy outside to hit up the park.

Westley knows that having a digital camera means the instant gratification of immediately getting to check out what you just snapped. He's never anything but delighted to see pictures of himself. And he especially likes it when I'm also in the shot: "I wanna see you an' me in the camera!"

I wish I could share his delight. My first thought when I saw the first picture from our most recent impromptu photo shoot was, "What a perfectly adorable picture of Westley! Too bad I'm in it, screwing it up."


I'm good at screwing up photos. I'm awkward in front of the camera, even (especially?) when it's me doing the photographing. Even in the least formal of settings, when a camera comes out, I get tense about not taking a good picture...which of course contributes to my not taking a good picture.


No matter how ridiculous or unflattering the facial expressions, however, Westley loves our pictures. "It's you!" he shrieks every time he sees a picture of me (or not), and then literally jumps for joy.


This morning I was watching Toy Story 2 with Westley, a movie I've seen half a dozen times but only really paid attention to once (because I think it's not nearly as good as the original Toy Story). I stopped mentally planning my day and tuned in to the dialog just in time to hear Buzz tell Woody, "life's only worth living if you're being loved by a kid." My mind stopped for a moment, and the line just echoed.

Life's only worth living if you're being loved by a kid.

It's a philosophy that I think applies better to toys than it does to people, and yet, I was momentarily awestruck as I (re-)realized that this kid of mine loves me. He really loves me. He doesn't see photos of the two of us and frown; he rejoices! If he had confetti, he'd throw it (and not just because he's really into throwing things right now).


Westley is nicer to me than I am. And as much as I love Westley, I think he understands loving better than I do.


* * *

Speaking of love, and especially self-love, I have some exciting news! A post I wrote in lieu of a list of New Year's resolutions is now syndicated on BlogHer. "Future Love" has become part of the fantastic Own Your Beauty movement. The project is brand new, and it's already amazing and truly inspiring! So please show my little post some love in its new home, and definitely check out the rest of the conversation so far. (I especially love Marzipan's Thoughts on Being a 'Pretty Fat Girl' and JL's January Diet? Nope, I Bought Bigger Clothes.)