What you should never say to your wife (Unless you wanna die)...

Men, don't say this to your wife. Especially when she's 6 months postpartum.

"Honey--" as you grab the blubber left on her belly. Her sweet baby 'phat' "--Are you sure you're not pregnant?"

And after your wife gives you a look that could kill you, please, don't tempt her to do the real thing by backpedaling off a cliff--

"I mean, maybe just a couple of months?"

Now my question... Who's going to bail me out of jail?