Thursday, February 17, 2011

Fashionista Fail: Why I'm Not a Fashion Blogger

As I scroll through my reader and blogrolls of friends and friends of friends, I can't help but notice an influx of fashion and style blogs. I also can't help but notice my self esteem level plummeting by the time I finish scrolling through the photos of perfectly placed home decor, style combinations I can't afford, beautiful actresses and models--Oh, wait--You mean that was YOU? The person writing the blog modeling that gorgeous pair of boots? Ok well I hate you for being so cute.

No, I don't really hate you. I actually want to thank you for making me take a look at myself and realize I could use a makeover.

Now I don't have time to get my nails done and I don't have money to get a new wardrobe, but I do have a closet full of outfits ranging from middle school to now.

My current problem with dressing is I just grab whatever will be easy to take off. I'm nursing my daughter half the day so I don't want to wear my button down blouses, or anything too tight. Today I threw on a black t-shirt, non-matching yellow jacket thing (non matching cause there's a brown button, I think it should be black), jeans, loafer shoes and Christmas socks.
I didn't brush my hair or put on makeup. I actually look like I'm rocking borderline dreads, and if you zoom in you'll see my awesome heart-stamped socks.

I had my husband snap a couple photos of me to demonstrate. I did my best to pose like a real fashion blogger would.

Next, I dug in my closet and put on some things I never wear.

Thing #1: Heels. At 5 11" I HATE heels. You know how some people just don't know how to walk in heels? They walk forward on their feet like they're sneaking around... That's me. And when I get too cocky about standing straight I usually stumble. I put on a pair of boots and practiced strutting my stuff around the yard.
Thing #2: A belt as an accessory. Normally I wear belts to keep my pants up, not as a fashion statement. But I've had this one for over three years and had yet to wear it so I tried it on. I'm not sure I tied it right but it looked ok to me.

Thing #3: A necklace. I don't wear jewelry besides my rings. I buy cheap jewelry to wear for work but cheap jewelry makes me itch so I usually leave it in my desk drawer and put it on right before I go on air. I had this plastic-pearl necklace on my dresser so I threw it on. I also took one of Lil' J's headbands and wore it as a bracelet to match my belt, and put a pink flower in my hair. I still didn't brush it but I pinned it up a little to make it look like it was purposely messy.

I grabbed a pink purse and umbrella even thought it was sunny because they are pink and I don't know how else to spice up an outfit after two colors so here we go. And where was my daughter during this impromptu photoshoot? See for yourself.
She was actually sitting aside gawking and laughing at me. Probably because she knows she can do so much better. And I automatically look 10Xs better too when I'm with her. Maybe it's because my daughter is sucking the style out of me and using it for herself. She wouldn't be caught dead in a plain onesie. At least not without a matching hair bow, diaper and Trumpette socks. Me on the other hand--I'm lucky if my socks match.
Anyway, getting all dressed up to take pictures got me all inspired to shop. I can see now why these fashion bloggers go round and round with their shopping and sharing and shopping and sharing. I was feeling like a fashionista, and so ready to buy a new pair of knee-high boots on Amazon but in the midst of browsing these yoga pants caught my eye and stole me away.

So I'm back here blogging in my t-shirt and comfy basketball shorts, which is much more conducive for hanging out with my slobbery, poopy (when she's not constipated) baby. I suppose now is just not the season for me to be stylish.

We'll have to check back in a year from now. In the mean time, if any of you see me getting way out of hand, tell me. I hate to end up having hidden cameras around my house and a surprise visit from What Not to Wear.