Twelve Weeks

Sometimes I forget I'm pregnant, but it usually only lasts a second. Occasionally, Rob has to remind me, when I wonder aloud, "Why am I so tired?"

"You're growing a person - and a placenta - from scratch."

When I think about it, it makes my head spin. There is a new, unique human being growing inside me. A human being who supposedly looks undeniably human at this point, with limbs, fingers, toes, and a tiny face with eyes and ears where they should be.

I'm so curious about this baby. Is she a girl? Is he a boy? (There is just one of them in there, right?) Is everything all right, safe, healthy? Will this child have an energy similar to Westley's, or will my children have radically different personalities? I've never been so anxious and excited to meet someone, and my September 30 due date seems awfully far away.

Food and I officially made up this week. (Hello, legumes! Hello, leafy greens! So nice to see you again.) I am eating what seems like a ridiculous amount, but I feel like I'm always hungry. And I can't seem to get enough fruit. I never had much of a sweet tooth before, but sugary things suddenly sound delicious. My three-pear-a-day habit seems to curb some of the sweet cravings, but I still have a hard time passing up a gluten-free vegan cookie when one is available.

My go-to jeans became unquestionably too tight, as of yesterday. I feel much heavier than I think I look. Maybe I'm just anticipating the inevitable hugeness.

This is the last week of my first trimester. It feels like a beginning. I'm glad to be leaving behind the sickness and the disbelief - Is this really happening? Am I really going to have another baby? - for a place of certainty, and pure joy.

I'm really fucking happy to be pregnant again.

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