Thursday, October 29, 2009

Clarification... I'm With-Spawn

I laughed as I read your comments on my Wordless Wednesday post. Most were so excited about me winning the crib that they totally bypassed my little hint. Others thought they missed an announcement and frantically searched my archives. Some threatened me... I had better not be pulling your legs! And one joked that if it's bad luck to have a crib before I'm pregnant, I could sell the crib, and get a dishwasher... Instead of getting ahead of myself (love you Amanda!).

So... I won a crib yesterday... just in time! Just in time for what? Well, like a little puppy I've been dropping little surprises for you all around the house: "...A day I'll remember forever... For more reasons than one", Foreshadowing, a new blog design with a pregnant girl...

But for those of you who weren't picking up what I was putting down... I'M PREGNANT! And now we go back in time...
To the day I found out... The day I ALMOST told you.

***Written October 16th, but saved for you for today!***

It all started with a Twitter Poll. To test or not to test?

I had abstained from the thought of testing all month. It was 13 Days Past Ovulation (DPO) and I was considering testing the next morning. But I couldn't do it without the peer pressure from friends.

Some urged me to "Wait! It was too soon to see a Big Fat Positive (BFP) and others... "Go ahead, you have a million anyway!"

I left it up to the poll to decide.

As of Thursday morning, here were the results:Though that morning... As usual the morning of a pee test, I began to have my doubts. The thoughts of chickening out, and waiting until "tomorrow" crept in my mind. I tweeted those thoughts and @graciekate replied "Don't you dare!"

So I honored my promise to test that morning, then and there.

I got up, and grabbed my iPhone, created my own hashtag, and went in the bathroom to tweet my experience. Here's how it went down:Yes. I took the time to pee in a disposable cup (which I purposely keep under the bathroom sink for this reason), set it down, and tweet.
It really only took me about 5 because a minute after that I sent this tweet:I brushed my teeth, and set the test to the side. I checked my Twitter replies occasionally to keep myself from looking at the test. But when about three minutes had passed, I let my eyes wander and spot the test... I saw what was undoubtedly two lines, then all I could manage to get out was this:I in no way, shape or form, thought that the test would be positive. They were never positive, I didn't know if positive tests really existed or if people just made it up... A trick they use, but don't tell you about until you're pregnant... Torturing all of the ladies trying to have a baby.

I frantically brought out the big guns. I had used a dollar-store test and knew the expensive digital kind would tell me the truth. I couldn't get the tape off of the box and I was already running late for work. There was no time to go downstairs for scissors. I use my teeth, nails, and and attempted with my razor blade. Finally, I just used my mega-woman-wanna-be-pregnant strength and ripped the entire box in half... Mind you, the whole time I was trying to be quiet as not to wake my husband up, who was sleeping in bed a few yards away.

BINGO! I had the test, and luckily, I saved the cup of pee. I dipped the digital test in the cup for 20 seconds, as the directions indicated, and watched the thing think.

Moments later the word "Pregnant" stamped across the screen... Shock stamped across mine.

I grabbed the test, opened the door, and began to outstretch my arm to hand the stick that proved our lives were about to change forever over to my sleeping husband. ...But right before I woke him up, I turned around, and went back in the bathroom.

Had I forgotten? All of those months of planning how I'd spring the surprise on my husband about flew out the window because of my extreme shock. This wasn't the emotion I expected to have once I finally saw the good news. I guess I just wasn't expecting any for a long while.

I had forgotten about my twitter audience, which by now I had about 50 people asking me WTH happened! But I couldn't tell them... not before my husband, not before... I don't know, I just couldn't.

I got ready for work then woke my husband up and told him I wanted to call in sick to work. He woke up, and told me he'd take me, and to stick it through.

I made him come downstairs and sit with me while I collected my things for work.

As planned, I asked him to call my phone that I had "misplaced," When it rang, the ringtone was different than the one he's had for years and it rang to the tune of R. Kelly's "I'm Having a Baby."

... He didn't get it.

After a few more minutes of hinting I decided to cut the cute stuff and get to the point. I handed him the test. Clear as day, there were to be no misunderstandings.

"What does that mean?" ... The sole word "pregnant" wasn't clear enough. "For real?" He asked me.
"Yep!"

Then we both sat there in shock. Not sure what to do next. So he took me to work.

Later I remembered my waiting friends, by then, the number of twitter replies had risen to about 100! And I sent the only Tweet I could manage to form. The only thing that would keep my secret a secret awhile longer, while also not making it a blatant lie:And that has what I left you with.. until now.
Back to today: I've been keeping a journal of everything here since the day I found out, but have kept it in my "drafts" until now. This was so I could have a fresh look back at my thoughts about this pregnancy from day to day. I didn't want to announce it until our families knew. Because Lawd knows if they read it on my blog first... Things would not have been pretty. We told them Sunday.
I'm exactly 6 weeks along Friday and I have my first doctor's appointment that same day! They told me they're not doing an ultrasound but they'll check to the heartbeat! I hope we can hear it!

For the next week or so I'll post what I've been going through since day 1 post BFP. If you're not following or subscribing to my blog yet, you may want to sign up now, cause it's going to be a wild ride!