... And Then I Cried

I told you I kept a journal from the day I got my BFP, here's a scary experience I wrote about the day after my good news.

Written 10/17 but saved for today

Last night, after finding out I was pregnant I went to the bathroom (Again! I was going a lot that day). When I examined the toilet paper I noticed some brown spotting. 'Implantation bleeding' I thought to myself. I asked one of my friends on Twitter about it and she said that could be it... Or it could be my body "trying to start."

Shoot. I was still a day away from my period starting. What if my body was going to reject this forming baby?

And with that... I lost it.

I tried to hide my fears and sadness but I couldn't. I'm not a good actor, and the love of my life can always tell when I'm upset.

Tears kept streaming down my face, and the conversations that took place after that moment made me realize this was something we both wanted more than we knew.

That night I made a promise to God.