I don't know what it was or where it came from, but the conversation of "when"--The official goal-setting timetable of what we want accomplished first and when we hope my Baby Makin' Machine will officially switch "ON"--also turned on the knobs to my water works.I've always been a big crier, so normally my sudden tears wouldn't surprise my husband too much, but this time it only confused him.
Him: "You're worried you're what?"
Me: *Sniffles*
Him: ???!
Me: "That I'm infertile!!"
Him: "What?!" (tries to stifle a laugh)
Me: "DON'T LAUGH AT ME!"
Him: "Well don't you think it's a little early to be worried about that?"
Me: "I don't know... All of my friends are getting pregnant on accident, and we've been married four and a half years and that hasn't happened to us!"
Him: "So you're worried because your birth control hasn't failed?" (tries to hide a smile)
Me: "Ye--No!"
Him: (Obviously laughing) "You are worried you're infertile because the birth control is doing what it's suppose to do?"
Me: "I don't know!"
Him: "Don't worry about that, it'll all work out. But if you are going to worry about it, at least wait until we're not trying to not get pregnant."
I had thought about it before but never had the worry hit me like I let it this time. We had a serious conversation about "whatifs"-- Though quite early, and probably unnecessary, it was nice to get it all out and talk about options and solutions beforehand.
Unfortunately, we're not the type who will have an in-between period where we'll "not try, not prevent." Both of us are a little too controlling to do that. We either want it or we don't--There's not really anything in-between about it.
Planning so much has really made me think I'm going to be a nutcase when it's time to rock and roll, and I worry that will prohibit me from achieving the ultimate goal...Actually, based on what I've read, I'm pretty sure it will. Getting all of this out made me think I'll be able to be calm and just let things happen. And while I still sometimes worry and think about and try to plan a step ahead of the "whatifs" I've decided to cross that bridge when I actually get there--Even through it's scary not knowing what's on the other side of that bridge.
Are you or were you ever worried about this?--Is it a normal woman thing?
