Being Pregnant and Thoughts on Delivery

I decided to take a little bit of a break from the flashback posts. Some are fun but some I've decided to just save for my journal! No sense looking back now.. Only forward right?

So, what everyone's asking... How I'm FEELING.

I'm feeling good. ALWAYS tired, and almost always nauseous. I haven't thrown up... Sometimes I wish I would, but I'm told that doesn't relieve any nausea, so I guess I'll take what I've got. Let me stress how tired I am... So tired I'm not going to proof-read this post. So please excuse any typos.

I have crazy cravings already. Cravings for Ramen, Mac and Cheese (we're happy the baby is a cheap eater) then brownies, carrots, peaches and jalapeno poppers. Not all at the same time.. But many of them, yes. Did I mention I have the best husband? He makes me/ goes to get me whatever I want. He even brings me grapes in the morning when I'm too nauseous to get up! Ok, I'll stop bragging about him now (by the way today is his birthday!).

So lately... I've been more obsessed than ever with watching baby shows. It's all I have set on my DVR. I know my poor husband is sad it's taking up sports time, but it's quite entertaining for me.

I must admit, they are NOT as fun to watch now that I'm pregnant. I mean, they kind of are, cause they've always been intriguing to me, but it's not as fun thinking about getting this baby out one day... When it's like 10,000Xs bigger.

As far as progress, I found a doctor I LOVE and a hospital I want to deliver at. I checked out a couple of hospitals and a birth center. I chose the hospital I did because of all of the reviews I've read, because I liked the feel of it, because of my doctor and some friends.

I also have a close friend who recently had a baby at another hospital I was considering and she was not impressed at all.

As far as the birth center... I'd have to come out of pocket a lot for it. I wasn't totally sold on it from the beginning, and from the start I thought I'd feel more comfortable in a hospital, so the money was an additional minus for me. Maybe next time... But this time I'm excited to have an OB I love... At a hospital I liked and possibly hire a doula to help along the way.

My OB was referred to me by my family doctor who I love. He gave me her name and one other. I did research on them as well as a few others I was considering, and a couple of midwife groups and I ended up choosing an OB I thought would be perfect for me. When I went to her practice for the first time I felt at home. She and her staff made no only me, but my husband feel comfortable, and she took the time to talk to us, and joke with us... I can't stress enough how much I love her and how excited I am to have her.

I later found out she delivered the baby of a friend I work with... She wasn't her OB but was the on call doctor the day she delivered and my friend told me she liked her more than her own doctor!

One thing that DEFINITELY tells me I'm pregnant is the CONSTANT outpouring of advice!! To my TTC friends here's a fact.. And to my preggo friends and moms... You know this is the truth... People LOVE to tell pregnant people advice. Whether it's some secret remedy for morning sickness, what books to read, how to deliver your baby, what to wear, EVERYONE has something to say.

Luckily for me, I don't mind. I like advice, the more the merrier... But I remember to take it all with a grain of salt, and so far... It's not getting annoying.

I was tweeting about watching a Baby Story which of course took us to the topic of labor. I don't know what it is but it seems like most of my followers are natural birthers/ home birthers etc. I think that's awesome because I get to hear from a side you don't often get to hear from, but the constant pounding about natural labor is making me nervous.

I'm TOTALLY open to things like birthing balls, hypnobirthing, and trying things the natural way but I am NOT against getting an epidural either. I don't see anything wrong with either.

I've had so many friends go into labor with an idea of how they'd do it but things changed. I know people who wanted an epidural right away but were too far along to get one, then ended up doing it naturally. I've known people who wanted no medication, and to try hypnobirthing and dancing through labor but ended up needing an emergency c-section while unconscious.

To be honest I'm not one to stress over how I'm getting my baby out. I just want to get it out when the time is right, and safely. I don't think an epidural is going to hurt my baby any more than delivering it at home unassisted... And I don't care which way others decide to go. I just know that I want to do what's comfortable and right for me. I actually don't get all of the hype/ obsession over Hospitals= Evil or Home births= Reckless.

Since when did people care so much about what other people do? As long as you're not pushing me into one or the other I'm not going to tell you my opinion on your birthing decisions. One solution isn't going to work for everyone. We all have different conditions and different things that make us feel more comfortable.

I feel so bad when women tell me they regret getting an epidural, or regret not going natural the whole way. I don't know why that is exactly but I hope I don't have regrets. My friend who ended up being put out for labor after dreams of a natural birth... Does she have regrets? No! She's happy to have her healthy little girl.

I think it's safe to say I've done my fair share of research. And I'll continue to do it as I go along. But don't hate me if I get drugs ok? We've all gotta do what works for us, and I'd hate to have my good moment ruined my people telling me I drugged my baby.

I hope if I don't put that pressure on myself to have a "perfect labor" I'll just be happy to have my baby in my arms once and for all... Regardless of how it gets its big self out of my womb. Sure, I won't go in begging for an epidural... (Or maybe I will). Either way, I just need to get from point A to point B. (A being enormously pregnant and B being a mom with a healthy new baby in my arms.)

Isn't that what's most important?

That being said, I LOVE reading labor stories! I hear all of the stuff on A Baby Story is overly dramatic... If that's the case, show me what you've got! Write a post about your labor story, or link up to one you've already posted! I've read some crazy ones already... From emergency operations to delivering at home on the stairs! Bring it!

PS: YES... I've seen "The Business of Being Born" I think I'll get that question as much as the question I got when TTC "Have you read 'Taking Charge of Your Fertility'?"

The Mama Drama

"So your daughter just decided to try out for cheer this year out of the blue?" The woman behind me asked my mother.

I was staring out the glass window in front of me, watching the group of middle school cheerleaders play a game as they wrapped up their practice. My sister was one of the girls in that room. She was a "new girl" having just moved to the area, and far from a veteran on the squad.

"Yep," my mother answered her casually, not giving in to her snide remarks.

"Oh, well my daughter has been cheering ever since she was seven years old," the woman continued.

"Is the competition squad down there too mom?" I asked, trying to get the subject off this woman and her daughter.

"Yes and no," my mom answered. "Some girls from each squad make up the competition team."

"My daughter made the competition squad but we told her she couldn't do it," the woman who couldn't take a hint kept going. "She's already on the competition team at her gym, plus the football squad, and with that and school it was just going to be too much."

I rolled my eyes and sent a Tweet: "Hanging out at my sister's cheerleading practice but tired of listening to all of these booshey moms. OMG!!!"

Booshey= Stuck up. I asked my mom how she could stand it, and she told me that's just how moms are. "We're competitive" she said, so matter-of-fact.

And then I began to think... This competitive attitude didn't come out of nowhere. And it didn't start when their kids hit middle school. On previous posts and topics I've touched on, such as stay at home moms, working moms, breastfeeding, labor--All topics that get a big response... All from passionate mothers.

It wasn't the sport of cheerleading that had these mothers tooting their own horns--No, it was The Sport of Motherhood... The most competitive game in the world. From crunchy moms to soggy moms... And even women who aren't moms... Everyone has something to say.

Come on now, let's be honest. I'm not even a mom yet and I can see it. I can see it starts before you even conceive a child. Everyone wants to say something about why you don't have kids... Why you should or shouldn't. How you're selfish if you wait, or selfish if you don't wait.

Then when it's time to conceive, women want to tell you why it's taking so long "don't stress" they say... Yea, right, that's easy. And then some wonder why you don't adopt after you've been trying so long... To those trying it's as if they're saying "give up already."

Then those who do adopt and don't adopt are combating eachother for their differences in opinions on the "whys" and "why nots" of their decisions.

Women who deliver their babies naturally and/or breastfeed criticize those who don't. And even if they're not guilty of that... Some are convinced their kids are or will be smarter because of it.

Women who pull their newborn from their own womb say they have a connection to their child other women miss out on... While others say they enjoyed those few minutes of peace before holding the being they'll forever have as their child.

There have been times when I've almost mistaken a post about a C-section as a story about a murder. Epidurals described as "drugging your baby." And I've read judgments going the other way saying home births are ridiculously irresponsible.

Had I believed the first blog post I read about babies sleeping alone in their cribs I may have thought it was a crime to allow it--Because of the way it was described.

Some say spankings are a bad form of discipline while others say timeout is a joke.

I've had women tell me a woman's place is at home, and no where else. Then some stay at home moms feel under appreciated and say they work harder than any other mom, while working mothers say saying at home would be a breeze. The arguments don't seem to cease on either side.

But what I don't get is the reason for pushing what you believe on others. And making people feel bad for their choices. And why get so defensive when someone doesn't have the same opinion or lifestyle as you?! WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT!

I've even had a woman comment to me, saying the pacifier and bottle pictured on the front of the book on my cartoon header "was not crunchy" and that I should probably take it down. Since when did I proclaim myself crunchy? Or a mom? And why the labels anyway?

It's easy for me to not have a bias now because I'm only facing the facts and opinions in front of me... Versus adding my own personal analytic and experienced opinion. In some ways I think it's a better place to be, because I can look at all of the options with my eyes wide open. I'll admit, I ask for advice and feedback now... Though I can't promise I'll be asking for it when I'm crossing the bridges into motherhood.

But one thing I will promise... No matter which roads I choose to take in my journey to motherhood, I vow to state my opinions as they are, but not make others feel bad for their choices. I also promise to try to remember that there are multiple sides to all stories, and I'll try to consider that in my remarks.

Maybe it's the journalist in me trying to be objective... But I'd like to believe it's a sense of compassion that we ALL hold for one another... Somewhere deep within.

The Labor Fascination

I was 11 when I was in the delivery room while my little sister was born. Oh yea, I watched it all... Come to think of it, I'm not sure why my mom did that to us. I mean, I think birth is a beautiful thing, but I'm pretty sure I didn't know babies came out that way.--Actually while I'm writing this, I'm remembering a demonstration my dad did with my little toy cat called Kitty Surprise! It was a stuffed cat that had three kittens inside. You'd get the kittens out through the Velcro at the stomach-area. My dad took the toy, told me they didn't come out that way, and proceed to demonstrate them coming out of what looked like the butt-area.... I didn't believe him. A few years later that theory was confirmed at my sister's birth.

Since then, I think, I've always had a fascination with births and from "I didn't know I was pregnant" to "A Baby Story" to "Bringing Home Baby" I'm there. Even Especially for all that bloody gory stuff!

I know it's strange, but I tell people all the time if I wasn't a journalist I'd be an OBGYN. Yea... I'd deliver babies! ...Too bad I'm not smart and I hate math. Other than that I think I'd love it! For some people the thought of labor scares them more than any other part of having kids. To me, that's probably the best part. I think the whole pregnancy, baby, mother-baby bond is just fascinating!

To be honest, I didn't really even consider home birth or anything of that sort until I started this blog and began meeting other women who have experienced that. Now the only big thing that turns me off to that idea is the pain--No biggie right? I hate pain. And to be honest I'm not sure I could handle not getting an epidural.

I talked to my mom about it, she delivered me naturally without medication, but with the rest of my siblings she got the epidural--And recommended I don't mess around and just do the same thing.

Going with this... I decided to watch The Business of Being Born. Everyone kept telling me how good of a documentary it is so I decided to give it a whirl last night. Once I got over the initial shock of seeing screaming naked women (cause usually on TLC they've got it all blurred out) it was quite fascinating as well.

Although it seemed a bit biased to me, it did turn me on a little more to the idea of something like a birth center--Maybe. I always thought since I have good insurance, why go to something like that? But then I noticed some of the women in the movie had OB's they went to at the hospital that were kind of their "back up." That made me feel more interested in different options because it's like having two doctors. But just as quickly as that thought came to my mind, a woman in the movie started screaming and I change my mind again. If these women... Women who wanted and planned to have a birth naturally were moaning/screaming in pain, crying and saying they couldn't do it. How am I suppose to deal with something like that?!

The up side to me seems to be when the baby comes out. I love how even though they're all sticky and kinda gross-looking they go straight in mommy's arms. It's so animalistic, natural and I LOVE that. It kind of made me sad, even on "A Baby Story" today when the baby was whisked away to be weighed and cleaned and stuff before the mom got to hold it. Another woman in the documentary grabbed her baby right out of herself, and while it was slightly weird, it was strangely cool too. I wonder if all that pain immediately goes away once you hear and see the baby or if I'd be like "Umm, I can't look at you for a moment, you hurt me."

It would be cool to say "I did it naturally" but I don't know if I'd be able to do it. I'm not sure if the home birth thing is for me... And I'm not sure what my husband would think. I imagine he'd think like the husband/dad/football player I just watched on this show who was like "I don't want all that stuff coming out all over the bed... I've gotta sleep there!"

Speaking of husbands, I've heard some of my friends say they don't want their husbands watching "down there" during labor, for fear they won't want to doit anymore. All I've gotta say is--Not only is my husband going to be watching he's going to be video taping the whole thing (my choice not his)! So the place I deliver DOES have to be a place that allows video cameras cause Lawd knows I've watched enough labors and I want to be able to see my own... Don't worry, I won't play it for you when you come over, I just think it would be cool for me to see later... Again with the fascination. Perhaps I'll even show it to my kids so they WON'T want to go down the "getting pregnant before you'd 'pose to road"... Hey, it worked for me!

But there are so many options.. Water birth looks kind of cool too! I don't know though. I imagine I'll just plan on a hospital cause I HATE pain! And that's pretty much my #1 goal as of now--As painless as possible. Hopefully I'll find a nice one that is cozy and whatnot and can feel like home.-- Maybe I'll even stalk it a lot beforehand so it does feel more homey.

I think I'm going to be one of those sorta-crazy extra-informed people who does a lot of research, reads a lot of books and talks to a lot of professionals before I make my final decision. Yea... I think this is only the beginning of my fascination. Maybe I'm over-thinking it, but one point I thought the documentary made was that a lot of people spend more time choosing a house, or car or TV than they do deciding on how to bring their baby into this world. Umm, just based on this blog alone I DOUBT that will be me.

What do you think of home births, birthing centers, hospital births? I'm not trying to start a debate here on what's better because I think situations are different for each person, but I am interested in knowing what avenue you chose or will choose.

Ok now on to the fun part--One person that may be fun to chat with is a birthing coach or mentor. Sounds a little weird right? Ok.. Maybe it's a little odd, but my fascination couldn't keep me from finding out what the heck that meant and I met Karen Angstad through Twitter and we were chatting about interesting things even before you get to the birth part! She even says she can help teach women how to experience a pain-free birth (and I wonder if the orgasmic births are on her list)! Oh yea, I'm going to be chatting with her about some cool stuff once I'm ready to turn my Baby Makin' Machine "ON!"

Well, after talking with Karen, she was nice enough to offer one of my readers a free one-hour mentor session with her! During your mentor session, discuss your desires, fears, and intentions in relation to your pregnancy, birth and mothering. This is for women pre-conception, mid-pregnancy or post partum (so that covers us all right?!). Uniquely tailored to each woman's needs, Karen's mentor program is focused on empowering each woman to trust in her body's ability to birth, connect to her inner knowing, and find the support and resources she needs to embrace the sacred journey of pregnancy and birth. Conscious parenting begins before birth.

How fun right? Someone to chat with about all this pre-conception, mid-pregnancy, and post labor stuff! She also has a lot of helpful information on her site about "How to expect what you're expecting" etc!

So leave a comment, tell me about your labor experiences or anticipations for the future and you'll be entered in to win the mentor session! Let me know if you follow me, Tweet about the contest, post, subscribe, have my button, or any of that other good stuff for extra entries. I'll draw a number via random.org and in touch with the winner and set you up with Karen. Giveaway ends June 30th. (I'll contact the winner and ask if they'd like to use/gift the session or if you don't need it, pass it to the next winner).

More info about Karen Angstadt: A Birth Mentor with over ten years experience empowering women. As founder of Intentional Birth, Karen's mission is to prevent and heal the pain of birth trauma. She teaches women how to experience pain-free birth, leading them to discover their Inner Guide to the best possible birth experience. She is the author of the Living Intention e-zine and serves women through individual mentoring, tele-seminars, and home study material. Learn more at http://www.intentionalbirth.com/