Things They Don't Tell You Pt2.

Thanks to The Oprah Show and you as well as a lot of my Twitter friends my list has grown so much I've made a second list of "The Things They Don't Tell You". These things aren't meant to scare me, or any other Future Mamas out there who are thinking of having kids, yet beware... They may. My commentary is in color.

Hemroids- Pregnancy can give them to ya. I wasn't exactly sure what they were but I googled it and ew.

You'll get use to feeling your boob on the side of your stomach... I'm not looking forward to loosing the perkiness :(

Little boys get woodies too-- Saw this one on Oprah... TMI if you ask me.

Lice is hard to get to go away.--I'm not sure I'll have to deal with this one cause I've never had lice and I hear black people don't get it. I hope that's the case for half-black kids too!

I'll hate my husband for knocking me up-- This one I also saw on Oprah, it's believable, but I REALLY hope we can make it an enjoyable experience for all of us.

I may not like my baby right away-- This is a sad one for me. But I guess it's good to know that may happen. But I love everyone elses baby so I can't imagine not liking my own!

A woman on Oprah said she felt like she had made a bad mistake-- Once again, possible, however I'm thinking I'll not let myself feel that way (I try to live life without regret).

Pump, or explode

You loose your choices- This is another complain from a mom on Oprah. I suppose if you go into motherhood expecting things to be easy and the same as before plus having a child on your hip you're going to have a rude awakening. I'm not afraid to make sacrifices and giving up "me time" when the time is right.

Some women say you "loose yourself"-- but I'm assuming that's a problem you run into if you don't already know yourself. I don't think it's "Loosing yourself" but gaining another part of yourself...But I'm not a mom so what do I know?

It's "Freaking’ hard work"- (no commentary needed)

Days where I would hate my kids-- If my kids are anything like some of the kids I see screaming and acting wild out at the store I guess I can believe this, however I don't like to use the work "hate."

You can be constantly constipated while pregnant?! --Waaah?

...And going with that : Milk of magnesia will help you poop (thanks for the tip)

The term "Letdown" is exactly what it says.

Labor stinks... LITERALLY... eew.

Your period is gone for your entire period but then you have it for like a MONTH after the baby is born... Boo!

You can have contractions weeks before you're really in labor... Good to know now so I don't freak out too bad if that happens to me!

And what freaked me out the most and came as the biggest surprise to me: In labor doctors have to cut that piece of skin between where the baby is coming out and your butt hole to keep it from tearing.... OUCH!

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And I'm always excited to learn more, so let me know if I've left anything out! Anything you wish you had known before getting pregnant/ becoming a parent?

The Show That May Change My Mind

Thanks Oprah, for ruining all of the happy feelings I have had towards motherhood. Was I the only person who watched yesterday? No, I don't think so. So let's chat.

When I heard about the show topic being on motherhood I got all excited. I know it was suppose to talk about "the bad" and "the ugly", but I assumed "the good" would be somewhere in there too. Mentally going back to my college days, I brought my laptop over to the TV, to take notes... (Oh yes I did)... During the show.

Parts of the show were really funny and interesting to me, I was able to add to the list of "the things they don't tell you," (I'll post about that later--they had a whole block dedicated to that question), but overall I was kind of left with a depressing feeling about motherhood... No joke...

The only positive experience I got out of the whole thing was from women communicating with me though Twitter. Some moms on the "happy" end of the spectrum gave me their opinions. Cristina aka Native Mamma told me "if motherhood wasn't worth the hassle NOBODY would have more then 1," that seemed so true to me! Why didn't they talk about that on Oprah?

Another mom on Twitter, Monique said "Don't let them get you down. I have 4 and they're worth every single gray hair and nervous breakdown. =)" I sure hope so!
What scared me was that the women on the show weren't saying it was worth it! One or two woman went as fas as saying "What did I get myself into?" and some even said sometimes they've felt like they've made a mistake becoming a mom! It reminded me of a study I saw reported about on Momlogic, that implied "kids [could]= unhappiness."

See.. That's the scary regret I'm talking about. I've never felt that way about anything so important to me in my life... And to think that that's "NORMAL" for some... or a lot of women terrifies me! No... I've never honestly thought my marriage was a mistake, how could these women say that about their children?

It seems to me the root of the problem (which they addressed at the very end) is the fact that TV shows make motherhood look easy... And happy-looking-neighbors, make motherhood/parenting look easy. And women who compare themselves to what they see on the outside think their feelings of overwhelmingness is something only they experience, and they feel bad for feeling that way.

I think the show was meant to show women who have those feelings that they're not alone. I get it, but I think it also scared the $#%* out of some women who were maybe thinking they might like to possibly become one someday, perhaps.

I'm not trying to make women who feel that way feel bad, I mean, my heart goes out to women who feel way, but it makes me wonder if motherhood is for everyone--If it's for me.

I was still pretty ticked about it this morning and wrote a blog post on Momlogic... A letter to Oprah. It's not quite as nice and open as this one, nonetheless it's how I'm feeling right now. Oh and here's one more depressing yet "honest" article that CNN even featured on the topic.

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Oprah, I love you but you pissed me off

It's not you, it's the women you had on your show. What was that meant to do? Scare the living bejeezes out of future moms like myself who are contemplating motherhood? Maybe that wasn't the point. I guess the point was to uplift moms.. More specifically stay at home moms right? The ones who get all down because they compare themselves to other women who they think are all happy and perfect. When are they going to wake up?... Or don't they, until they are driven to the thoughts of "What did I get myself into?" and "I think I made a mistake."

Oprah, you're not a mom, and I'm not a mom but I think we both know it's hard. We have moms don't we? And if that's not testament enough I think we get the point after reading the bizzilionth blog post about how being a SAHM is SOOOOO hard. If it sucks so bad why have more than one?

I'm not trying to down play it at all ok? I don't think you are either, and that's why you invited these women on your show. But what do you think it says to women who want children but can't have any? Women who are so excited to have a child and are always running into women who are griping about being moms. Or women like me who are kind of on the fence about the whole topic?... Did one person on that show even say it was worth it?

The Letdown

Sorry men, you can't complain. Us women not only have to deal with monthly visits from Aunt Flow (who also brings her friends Ms.Cramp and Mr.Moody), we also carry around your spawn for nine months then go through extreme amounts of pain in labor...

Wait, what?... There's another way?

Check this out... Mr. Lee is claiming to be the first man to be pregnant...And they're saying a REAL man! Not that transgender hodgepodge...the REAL THING!

I'm not gonna lie, when I first saw this I got really excited. But before I got my hopes up I thought for a minute. My first question was, "Well why wasn't he on Oprah?" If this is real, Oprah must have interviewed him right? Well after some researching on Snopes, TIME, CNN and of course Oprah's site, I've been let down... It's a hoax!

Maybe one day right? Didn't Aaarnold have a kid about 15 years back? Or was that a movie?

Well, I guess for now we'll have to leave the baby daddy business to the seahorses and transgenders.