The Baby Makin' "Do's"

One thing I think I have on my side with this whole reproduction planning is feeling empowered by knowing my body and "what works."

It's not about stressing to me or over-planning, it's about going for what I want. For some reason I don't tend to do anything half-A (if you know what I mean).

I came across an article on Conceive's website about 14 Simple Changes That Enhance Fertility (aka becoming with-spawn), and I was surprised to find I'm already doing most of them. A lot of them I've read about in Fully Fertile too... Which has a holistic approach to achieving optimal fertility.

Let me share:

1. Get regular exercise.
Ok ok, it depends what you count as "regular" I've been pretty bad about my daily walks with Snoop lately, but I promise to do this better next month. Nothing too heavy, just stimulating the body more and making it think "baby makin."

2. Avoid artificial lubricants.
For now this isn't a problem, but did you know stuff like KY Jelly could keep the swimmers from getting to their destination? I did! So I got some Conceive Plus, I'm going to try. It's suppose to not only NOT prevent them from getting there but HELP them get there and survive a little longer. (A review and giveaway is coming).

3. Lose or gain if you need to.
My BMI is pretty much right where it needs to be for now but again this is about making your body think "baby makin'" so a little bit of exercise can help.

4. Don't forget the folate.
I've been taking prenatals for months now (and I'm getting a new natural one soon too that I'll be reviewing and giving away). I've also been taking a calcium pill daily since I know I'm not getting enough (I don't drink milk) and that can cause fertility problems for some women. The Bellybars I eat daily too also help with folic acid... Yum!

5. Have a bowl of full-fat ice cream.
I have to admit this isn't one I've heard before. The fat can help your body get all dosed up for baby! Since reading this I've been chowing down on cookie dough ice cream. I try not to eat too much though.. Or eat it with something warm (like a brownie... Yum!) Because digestion is a "warm process" according to Fully Fertile, and giving your body too much cool stuff causes extra work to warm it up.

6. Do it on the right days.
Well, umm... Yea, I'm doing everything but IT (without the blockades) once I remove the barriers hopefully we'll be in the clear. I was tracking my BBT for months but I lost my thermometer and I've promised not to buy another for a few months. I think I'll be ok though cause I know other signs.

7. Avoid trans fats.
No french fries? Is that what this means? Ok honestly, I haven't heard of this before and I am a little sad about it!!

8. Kick the butts.
Not as in booties, as in cigarettes... Never smoked, nasty stuff if you ask me.

9. Relax.
I'm getting better at this, trying to be happy, pray more and meditate more, still hoping to try yoga soon too... hopefully fertility yoga!

10. Keep it cool (for men only).
I have been yelling at my hubs about this and he seems to be doing his own research too, saying exactly how much caffeine he's allowed to have before it effects his boys... Either way, I'm keeping an eye on the bath tub temperature... I'll turn off the water heater if I have to!! ..Ok, for real though... I think it's pretty much ok as long a he doesn't go hot tubbing daily.

11. Cut down on caffeine and alcohol.
Never drank, so I don't miss what I haven't had. Caffeine I have COMPLETELY eliminated (yay!) ... Minus a few hiccups here and there when I've had a REALLY early morning at work.

12. Choose vegetable sources of protein.
I am a meat eater, which I think is also important for fertility, but I'm TRYING to choose more organic stuff, so I can avoid meat pumped with steroids and what not. I'm also eating more vegetables just because it makes me FEEL healthy.

13. Don't Douche.
I use this as a term, not a product... When I'm yelling it out my car window at the jerk who cut me off.

14. Assume the right position.
I've heard missionary works pretty good, then you've gotta stay that way for about 15 minutes after, or just go to sleep that way. I may get up after awhile to avoid a UTI, but we'll have to see how that goes!!

So there ya have it! Helpful right? I'm surprised I've been doing most of these things just for practice rounds, hopefully when games are in for real, I'll be set to go!

One other think I want to mention that I remember from reading Fully Fertile that I think is REALLY important and that I want to try to focus on is getting enough sleep. Our bodies need to recoup from the day and that takes time and a full nights rest. One of the challenges in Fully Fertile is to get at least 8 hours sleep every day for a week. I'm not sure I've gone a week straight yet, but you'd better believe I'll be using that excuse next month when I don't want to get up to let Snoop out.

Any others you can think of? What do you think of this list?

The Transition

When did this happen? It use to be when someone announced their pregnancy I was just glad it wasn’t me. Ok, it wasn’t that bad. Actually, it was more like rolling my eyes and thinking to myself: ‘Another one bites the dust.’ But that sentiment has since taken a one-eighty…

But on the other side of my spectrum it’s not all roses and butterflies either. It’s sadly also a bitter emotion… Jealousy.

When did this happen? I think I missed it… The transition from wanting a successful career more than anything else. From wanting a child (but not in the near future) to wanting a child NOW YESTERDAY. When did this happen?—HOW? What happened to me?!

I’ve had baby fever before. Yes, the bug has bit me, and then I built up an immunity towards it. But now I feel silly when I feel the aching in my stomach as I look at pictures of a newborn baby in her mother’s arms. What happened?!

How did I go from planning my future and goals of things to do with my husband to not wanting to do anything else but make a baby?.. To feeling a pit of depression every time another friend announces their pregnancy.

Who am I to feel that way? It’s not like I’ve been trying to have a child for months or years… Or ever. It’s not like I’m struggling with infertility, and wanting a child longer than all of my friends having children. Granted I have a right to feel this way too, but I seriously feel insane.

I wasn’t going to go for it… Try to bring a child into this world, until I knew I was sure. I couldn’t just try to “see what happens” because that would probably mean baby (yes, for people who don’t want it that’s what happens). To me, you either want it, and are trying, or you don’t try. But that didn’t mean I wasn’t expecting to feel a “maybe sortof” emotion for some time in between.

What happened to the middle ground? Wasn’t there suppose to be some transition here?… You know, don’t want a kid, sorta want a kid, wanting a kid more… more … ok for sure want a kid?

It’s like my maternal desire had been dormant for decades and all of a sudden it has awoken from the tomb inside me and has erupted like a massive volcano.

I’m trying to scrape the lava back inside me with a squeegee but it’s not working. I can’t contain it. I can’t deny it. I want a child, and I want it more than ever.

Can't wait to get this part started!

The Meanies: A Response From the Editor

I felt like I needed to spend a little time clearing some things up because my last post stirred up some apparent controversy I didn't know existed (then again, with mom bloggers I've learned almost everything can be controversial) and I had to do something I HATE doing... Delete comments. Yes, and not only that, I also turned OFF anonymous comments. Here's why...

As you may know, my post yesterday was about a gift I call my hopeful "push present." I wrote a post before about them (which actually got NO rude anonymous comments) and the tradition behind them in some cultures.

My post yesterday was about finding a gift I'd love for the whole family... Something I'd like to use to document the whole journey with. Something I didn't think was very selfish as I was actually planning on getting one anyway, why not consolidate the gift as a push/anniversary/Christmas/birthday gift?

Normally I'll leave comments from people who disagree with me because I welcome a difference in opinion and I like to see all sides in things, but these comments got a little out of hand, and some hurt my feelings so I decided to delete them. Besides... I want to print out my blog one day for my family to see (helpful comments and all) and I'd rather my kids not read from the trolls.

I also generally don't respond to comments in the comments section because I don't think people come back to read them... But because I went against my journalistic instinct and deleted the comments I decided to post them here and give a response to each comment (Yes, I know this isn't necessary but I'm doing this for me). I'm not trying to "feed the beast" or give into them, I'm just trying to explain myself to them and anyone else who maybe was VERY confused by my message. Plus, I don't like contention and I'm taking this like a "letter to the editor." So Anonymous #1-6 I hope you come back to read this!

Anonymous comment #1: Why does anyone deserve a "push present?" You want to be pregnant, you want to have a baby, it's your choice. And what if you never get pregnant? This blog is premature, pun intended.

Future Mama's response: Why wouldn't a woman deserve a push present if that's what she wants? It's a tradition in many cultures, and who are you to judge those who get them or want them? As far as this blog being premature.. Thanks, sorta. The whole point of this blog was for me to research things about conception, pregnancy and beyond. I think there should be more planned and thought-out pregnancies.

And if I can't get pregnant... I'll adopt. But I'd still like that camera.

Anonymous comment #2: You're not even pregnant and planning your push present? I've never heard of anyone so obsessed with being pregnant before. Maybe you should let the big man upstairs take care of it and when it's time it will happen! How does this not drive your husband insane?

Future Mama's response: My husband loves me, and he loves my ultra-planning personality. He's not insane... Yet.

Anonymous comment #3: I know anonymous comments are sort of lame, but I have to agree with anonymous commenter above me. You are planning this a little TOO Much IMO. If you try so hard chances are it isnt going ot happen when you want and then ur going to be disappointed!

Future Mama's response: "I know anonymous comments are lame but..." - signed Anonymous. Nouf said!

But in response to your comment... I do sometimes over-plan, and I'm working on that. If you've read previous posts you'd know I'm starting yoga to help with stress (since stress can lead to having a harder time conceiving). But I don't think I'll be too disappointed if it doesn't happen right away. I've waited this long. I'm sure I'd still find more to write about and plan then.

Anonymous comment #4: I also agree! Calm down already!

Future Mama's response: Got it!

Anonymous comment #5 (in response to a tweet I sent suggesting these are the same person): Def not same person!

Future Mama's response: Suuuure.

Anonymous comment #6: I think the idea of push present is incredibly selfish. The present should be that precious LIFE that you have just created and brought into this world. The present is seeing those beautiful eyes, the tiny toes, the sweet fingertips, and knowing that this life was created inside of you. Why would you demand a camera, or jewelry? Why put even more financial strain on a family by demanding a push present? You aren't even trying to conceive yet, give it a rest. There are other women out there who have been trying to conceive children for YEARS who no longer read your blog because you are incredibly selfish and have no idea that amount of emotional energy, patience, and mental health go into trying to conceive.

Future Mama's response: I'm sorry you think it's selfish. In my post I talked about how my child will be the greatest gift I could get But I also think every woman... Every mother deserves an additional gift if that's what she so desires. I know a lot of women who have received a push present for each child, and whether or not you want one is your own personal decision, so don't judge me!

I'm not sure if you took the time to read the post or if you were coming over and commenting because your friend told you to. I'm not demanding a push present... And who's to say I'd be putting financial strain on my family? That's awfully presumptuous of you.

I'm not blogging for you or anyone else, I'm blogging for me. If you choose to be offended by what I've said I'm sorry, but the point of my blog is to ask questions, find answers, and find joy in the journey of preparing to be a mother. What's wrong with spending some time (less than a year) preparing for one of the biggest decisions of my life?

No, I don't know what it's like spending years trying to conceive, and I'm not pretending like I do. But I DO know how much emotional energy, patience and mental, physical and spiritual health goes into PREPARING to try to conceive, and waiting for the right time to make that decision. Maybe YOU don't know how hard that is. Counting the years of marriage wondering when it'll be my turn to be pregnant. Watching my friends have babies, throwing them showers. Wondering when my spouse and I will BOTH be on the same page and want to have a child... Then one of us loses our job and plans change AGAIN. Waiting for even the simplest things to fall in place, and finding joy in planning the little things. Discovering comfort in researching ways to get my mind, body and spirit ready to conceive while I wait for Him to be ready.--All the while praying I'll be ABLE to have a baby when it's time to start trying.

I'm not making light of your situation so don't make light of mine. And don't act like you don't dream of pictures you'd like to take of your new baby too... Even if it's with a brand spanking new camera!

So from now on... or until I feel like changing the settings, if you have something rude you want to say, you're going to have to have the balls to put your name with it.

What do you do to trolls? Or am I the only one they pick on?

The Clock is Ticking!! Need Baby Makin' Secrets!

I can’t believe I’m so close… So close to taking the plunge. I’m ready, more ready than ever to try to join the mommy club. Things are falling into place better than I imagined. Don’t laugh, but I’ve had a countdown on my iPhone for a while. Counting down to the day my “baby makin machine” would turn “ON.” I remember looking at it when it was more than 100 days away. I’ve changed the date several times, but this time I think it’s sticking, and I’m finally only 32 days away… Ok, I’m going to just round down and say a MONTH! I’m so excited I’m literally thinking of making a paper chain.

Everything is falling into place too. I’m not a Suga Mama anymore! When I was in Chicago my husband got an interview and a JOB that he likes A LOT! I feel very blessed. The economy hit us pretty hard, but we’ve been blessed an able to rent out our condo for another year, and now this! I was ready to just go for it like NOW but we’ve agreed to stick with our September goal. But when I really think about it it’s like HOLY COW… Scary!! I’m excited, scared, and going into hyper-planning mode all at the same time!

I’m debating on all things pre-TTC, and my original goals and plans are all starting to change. I’m trying to decide if I still want to do a procreation vacation (aka baby-makin’ moon). Part of me does because it would be fun, but then part of me thinks I don’t care anymore, I just want to get this show on the road!! But then again I’ve talked about it and I think kicking it off in a fun way would be… Well, fun. And since I’ve talked about it for so long I kind of want to just do it the fun way like I planned. Oh, and can I just say I was looking at my Fertility Friend chart and it looks like I’ll be ovulating around the 1st of September, so who knows… Maybe I’ll get the first egg right away! What do you think? Baby-Makin Moon? Yay or nay? I'm also a little worried about over-planning and scaring my husband out of it. The goal is NOT to do that!!

Oh, and I know I’ve been a blogging slacker lately… At least for me. Blogher took a lot out of me. I’ll be doing more wrap ups on that later, but I’m hoping to get back into the routine of posting daily again! I’ve got a lot to say my (hopefully) LAST month pre-trying to be a mommy.

I’m looking up a lot of things about trying to conceive and so I have a question for you… Besides sex (obviously) if there was one thing that helped you get pregnant what do you think it was? I hear, laying down propped up at the hips for awhile helps. What else worked for you, or have you heard?

The Big Goal

I feel like I have so much to say and I haven't said it for fear of changing my mind, not sure if it was going to pull through, and other reasons, but I've decided to just LET IT ALL OUT today!

First off, I want to add a disclaimer to those who know me in real life (99% of you can probably skip down two paragraphs). "What happens on Baby Makin' Machine, STAYS on Baby Makin' Machine." And I'm not just talking about copyright issues or plagiarism. No, as far as I know I haven not fallen victim to this. I'm talking about what I'm saying here. Yes, I know it's a public blog and anyone who wants to read can read it, but I'd like to keep it at that.

Got a question? Ask me in the comments section, or in an email, I'd be more than happy to write a post answering it. I write about these things because it is easier to write about than talk about.

I wanted to get all of that out of the way before I said this. After six months of having this blog, going back and forth on when to try to have a baby. Debating whether or not I'm willing to sacrifice sleep. Getting off of hormonal birth control:...

I'VE SET A DATE!

See that switch at the top? Well my mental picture of my baby makin' machine switch looks a little like that and I've set a date to switch it on. I wasn't planning on blogging about it because I always thought when I turned my baby makin' machine "on" I'd want to keep it secret so everyone is surprised when they find out I'm with-spawn. Well, after much contemplation I've decided I will write about it, because it not only is a part of my journey but a HUGE part. And I think so many women are going through the same thing and hopefully what I go through, and what I learn can be helpful to them--AND women who have been through what I'm going through can share their tips--Yay!!

As for the date--Well, I said it first yesterday on Conceive Online. Oh yea, did I mention I'm the magazine's newest blogger? Check it out. If I'm not open enough here... You'll get all of the dirty details there. And join the "My Conceive" community and show your support for me there! The website was EXACTLY in my ballpark. I've never seen a more helpful site/magazine for where I am right now. It's ALL inclusive helpful information on before AND during TTC. The blog's name (which hubby helped me choose) is "Ready or Not."

But like I've said... The date... August or September. That's when I'm planning turning my baby makin' machine "on". I have been known to change my mind before--In fact, I didn't even blog about my last two goals... May and June. I sorta chickened out. Plus, there are a few things I'm trying to get done first.--For one, I'm going to the dentist again to get my cavities filled. I'm doing that in a few weeks. But this time, hubby and I are both working for this goal and feeling good about it. So I'm hopeful and planning on pulling through this time. I'll have been off hormonal birth control and taking prenatals or five months, and I've already for hubby hooked up with vitamins... Someone told me Zinc is somethin' a guy's gotta have so I went out and bought him some vitamins the next day. I'm hoping once I kick the machine into action it works, and that it isn't broken, but I'm taking steps to help with that too.

If you read this post last week, you'll know I've been a little nervous about being able to produce a baby. I mean... I haven't gotten pregnant on birth control and it seems like so many of my friends HAVE! I've also talked about my fear of turning into a Sex Natzi. Now that I know the rules to making a baby, and what helps, I plan to follow them to the best of my abilities to make a baby FAST.

In consequence to that, I know that can cause added stress and can cancel some of my progress. SO... I've decided to do something that will help lower stress, help with fertility AND cross something off my Baby Bucket List all at the same time... I'm going to try FERTILITY YOGA!

Cool, no? I have tried meditation once before, but never anything like this. I've been in touch with the wonderful women of Pulling Down the Moon, and (hopefully next month) I'll be starting a fertility yoga class here in Austin, and learn exercises I can do to help stimulate fertility, while lower my stress-level in the process.

I started reading Fully Fertile. Their book. It's a 12-week process to achieve optimum fertility. I'm suppose to read the entire book before starting the process, and I'm hoping to just be completing the process the same time I switch my machine "on."

I just finished reading the first section about breathing and yoga positions. I am DYING to get to it! I also read some good tips about good exercise and what's "too much." And another good cleansing tip I learned that I am SO starting ASAP is to drink a thermos-full of warm water and lemon daily. I don't normally like water with lemon but I think it'll be a fun experiment knowing it could help a little with getting ready for baby makin'! I'm also hoping to learn a lot more about good nutrition, healthy living, and things like that while reading this book.--I'll keep you updated on it!

I know a lot of people would see something like this and think that it's for people dealing with infertility.. And I thought that at first too, but then I realized that something like this is perfect for someone who is trying to get ready to have a baby. I know for some people it's just easy to do the freaky-deek and get pregnant, but for other's it takes work. I also know a lot of women who are going through "baby fever" and aren't sure what to do with themselves while they wait to finish school, or for their husbands to come around, or to accomplish a certain goal... I think stuff like this is great to do while you're passing the time.

I've said before that I don't think I'll have the "in-between" stage of "not trying, not preventing." In my eyes I either want to have a child, or I don't. And when I'm not preventing anymore I'm going to be trying to get pregnant.

I don't want to set myself up for disappointment, but I'm going to do some experiments the next few months. I'm going to try to do everything I can so I can get it right the first time. Worth a try right? We'll see! I will try my best NOT to be disappointed though if it doesn't happen right away--I can't control EVERYTHING. So I'm going to try not to stress in my planning, but have FUN in my planning. Make sense?

I'm going to be blogging about fertility yoga, and a lot more things I'm trying, reading, and experimenting with. I'm surprised by seeing the results of my poll, and seeing that so many future mama's like myself are reading my blog! It's nice to know I'm not in this boat alone... And I have lots of great stuff for future mamas and other women looking to make additional babies. I'm so excited for this commitment I'm making and the turn this blog is taking.

Hopefully this will not only continue my detailed diary, but also be helpful for others. So stay tuned for updates! And let the countdown begin!

Any advice?

***

To my real-life friends: If you read my blog--Thank you! But if you're a member of my family or a co-worker, I'd appreciate if my writings stayed with you and didn't become family/newsroom gossip. I only say this because I think sometimes things can get misconstrued, and all of a sudden, just because I want a baby one day, or have a dream about my child the next, I'm all of a sudden the "kid obsessed" person, or being asked if we're "trying to make a baby" in places I'd probably prefer not to talk about it. Sure, I'm an open person, and I'd be more than happy to talk with you about it in private.--I like to keep this blog (and my blog Twitter account) as my ONLY "public" forum. Thanks!