The Road from TTC to Pregnant

When I first began my journey to try to have a baby I was so anxious, excited and scared. In my journey of preparing and researching fertility I realized how not-easy it was for so many people. It seemed as though many friends I knew in college were able to get pregnant easy enough but for many, I didn't know the story behind their baby story.

As I learned the challenges some of my friends faced I began to wonder what my journey would be like.. I wondered how long it would take for us to get pregnant. I didn't know why I'd feel so confidant about it being the time to try to have a baby then it take years to happen... But maybe it would just be a trial for me to overcome. I wondered if we were secretly infertile. I knew, and know so many people who didn't know why they weren't conceiving, why their cycles were irregular, why they had to wait a year to get professional help.

I sorta knew way to much to begin with. My cycle was 28 days exactly but I knew that didn't guarantee my fertility. What if the problem wasn't with me, but with my spouse? I prepared as best as I could, but all I could do was hope for the best and prepare for the worst.

I know some thought my ramblings of insecurity were premature... And perhaps it was, but it wasn't a mockery I was portraying... Rather my true feelings on the topic of trying to conceive. And I imagine they're similar feelings of any woman who wants to become a mother... A woman who has compassion for friends she knows has struggled but wonders what her fate will be.

I was shocked, to say the least to find out I was pregnant... And so quickly. But I also felt like I had immediately become a traitor to my friends who were still in the trenches of TTC. I had only gotten a taste of the trial and already I was rescued from the pits... Leaving them behind. I felt so bad at first, I didn't know how to be excited, how to share my excitement while not causing pain. I KNOW how that feels. I didn't know it to the same extreme, but there were so many times... Even before we were trying that I wished we were in the right time and place to have a child. Then after beginning to bring a baby into our home, I got just a taste of the sting when a friend shared the news of their new baby. I could only imagine how that feeling is magnified by YEARS of experience and pain.

I knew what NOT to do... I knew how much I hated people telling me time and time again just to "relax." All of my research and preparing could have come across as stressing but I really was just trying to be informed. I know that's not a piece of advice I'll give to someone who is TTC. ...Because I'm sure they've heard it enough already. I know I did and we weren't trying for years and years. Actually I don't think I'd give anyone advice... Unless they specifically ask me for mine.

I didn't know what to do but blog on, as I had always been... Express my fears, excitement, frustrations, everything as I always have, and hope not to offend or hurt anyone. All the while I'm praying my friends trying to have a baby aren't far behind. Sometimes I don't know what to say, if I've said too much. All I can do is be myself, be honest, and hope I'm not hurting anyone, and hope that anyone struggling knows I'm not doing anything inspite of them.

My situation of expressing my journey has been unusual to say the least. I think most women start documenting their TTC journey once they've been trying for awhile... Maybe even once they've been diagnosed with infertility. I loved helping other women who were in the same boat as me, or not yet TTC but getting ready.

I know I'm not alone with this feeling either though because as some of my TTC friends cross over to the pregnancy side with me, they secretly message me with their excitement, I assume feeling the same sense of worry for expressing their happiness. It's such a quick and drastic change, and sometimes difficult to absorb and explain.

I want my friends on all sides of the TTC fence to know I love you, I support you, and I'm here for you in whatever way you want me to help!

I know my tone has changed based on what I'm going through but I'm still thinking and praying about my TTC friends daily.

Before I found out I was pregnant Fertilaid contacted me about doing a review and giveaway. I found out I was pregnant shortly after but still wanted to offer this Little Bundle Pack to one of my TTC readers... If you still read.

Here's info about the Little Bundle Starter Pack:

The Little Bundle Starter Pack helps ensure proper nutrition, promotes hormonal balance and improves cervical mucus production; all of which play an important role in the conception process.

FertilAid for Women is a doctor-designed supplement that takes a dual approach to aiding conception. It contains a full prenatal vitamin supplement (including folic acid) as well as an herbal blend of fertility enhancing herbs that help to regulate the hormones and normalize one's cycle. This "Just Right" formula of vitamins, minerals, antioxidants and herbs (such as vitex) is designed to improve your odds of conceiving.

Without fertile quality cervical mucus, sperm have a difficult time making their way to the egg. FertileCM is designed to improve both the quantity and quality of a woman's cervical mucus. In addition to mucus production, FertileCM helps to strengthen the uterine lining for better implantation of the embryo.

FertilAid for Women and FertileCM complement one another and were formulated to be taken safely together. Both are natural, non-prescription supplements designed to improve overall reproductive health and help you conceive.

But I'm going to up the prize a little. You get a Little Bundle Starter Pack PLUS goodies from me.
I'm throwing in my 4 Pulling Down the Moon Fertility ARTeas (I've only used a few table spoons of each) the containers are practically full!

Pulling Down the Moon ARTeas Cleanse ($10.95)
Pulling Down the Moon ARTeas Implantation ($10.95)
Pulling Down the Moon ARTeas Nourish ($10.95)
Pulling Down the Moon ARTeas Ovulation Support ($10.95)

A tube of Conceive Plus ($16.50)

A Clearblue Easy Digital Pregnancy test! ($8)

Self Fertility Massage DVD ($29.95)

1 FertilAid for Women
and 1 FertileCM ($45)

So about a $145 Value!!

Also, everyone gets a free download to Circle + Blooms Fertility Relaxation program for cycle days 1, 5, and 13. They recently lowered their prices and I HIGHLY recommend checking it out. It's the one thing I used religiously the month I got pregnant, and it really is relaxing. Try it for free before you buy!

You can also use coupon code "newyearsavings" to receive 10% off at www.fairhavenhealth.com.

I know it's not much, I wish I could do more, wish I knew what to say and that I could make EVERYONE pregnant (wouldn't that be nice?) But this is a little something I wanted to add to my Full Term of Giveaways for you. Consider this your TTC Kickoff Package. Whether you've been trying awhile or not, this is Baby Makin(g) Machine's good luck baby dusting basket of goodies!!

All you have to do is leave a comment to enter telling me why you'd like to win.

That's all! If you would like extra entries here are ways you can enter (leave a comment for each):

-Vote for Baby Makin(g) Machine as top 50 Mommyblog on Babble (once per day)

-Follow my blog.
-Visit Fertilaid and tell me another product you'd like to try
-Follow @Fertilaidamy on Twitter
-Tweet "I'm in it to win a $145 fertility package from @FutureMama including Fertilaid from @FertilaidAmy http://bit.ly/7Zwk2j" (2Xs per day)
-Give me a pregnancy tip!
-Become my Facebook Fan
-Add my NEW button to your blog!
-Add my Full Terms of Giveaway button to your blog.
-Post about this giveaway on your blog.
-Email Subscribe to my blog (don't forget to confirm your email!) OR Subscribe to my blog through one of these feeds (let me know which one in comments).
-Vote for me on Top Baby Blogs (per day/computer) (just click the link)
-Tell me how you heard about this giveaway (you read my blog regularly, saw it on Twitter, etc.)

This giveaway ends January 22nd at 11:59pm. I'll choose a winner using Random.org Goodluck!

TTC Update and Another Cutest Baby Contest

I got my first "I miss you" comment.. Ok, well it wasn't exactly like that but it felt nice anyway. Along with raising money for March of Dimes I've also taken a break from my usually TMI blogging. Trust me... I've been going through withdrawals myself, but at the same time it's been a nice break. I'm REALLY not thinking about the stress of it all as much since I'm focusing my energy on something else.

That said, I have A LOT to say. This break has given me a lot of time to think, and has brought a lot more questions to my mind. I don't want to post about them just yet because I don't want them to get lost in the shuffle of all of the features, nor take away from them, so I'll go back to my journal-like posts around the 20th. Who knows though... I could slip in a whine session, or announcement in between, we'll see.

But until then.. expect to see A LOT more features! ... No joke! I'm featuring 30 sponsors in the next two weeks, so that's a couple a day! Tell your friends about it cause the sooner we reach our goal the sooner we can celebrate! Just $1 goes a long way, and you can win a great prize! $15 guarantees you a prize!

But as for my update... Right now I'm just confused about the whole TTC advice thing. 1. I thought Mormons got pregnant easy. I mean, why in the world do they preach on and on about procreating, and make it seem so easy?.. Ok ok, I know it's not but still. With how many times I've had people ask and tell me "when are you having kids?" It's like they expect it to be like "POOF! Pregnant!"

2. Some say "chart chart chart" and others say "just relax, and don't think about it." I don't know how many people have told me the month they stopped "trying" it happened. Huh, interesting, no? But on the other end people rave about "Taking Charge of Your Fertility."

As for me, thinking about it too much... Especially the conflicting messages gives me a headache, so I'm "giving up" a little prematurely. I realized all of the tracking and planning still only gives me a 25% chance from any given month, so why over-analyze? ... I may change my mind tomorrow, but for today, this is the plan. In another 4-10 months I'll see a doctor, but until then, I'm not going to send myself into a pre-midlife crisis.

I have General Conference on DVR since I work on the weekends, if you watched, let me know your favorite talks! I'd love to especially listen out for those!

Also, I'm starting another cutest baby contest! You have until next Sunday at 11:59pm CST to email me your photos (only last time's winners are excluded) to babymakingmachine{at}gmail.com. I'll run it the last week of the fundraiser and it'll end the event with a bang! Anyone who's considered "your baby" can be entered... pets, husbands, older kids, whatever! haha!

The baby boy winner of the contest will win a blog button and an adorable binky clip from CJ's Fine Designs
The baby girl winner of the contest will win a blog button and a mini album of choice from Hampshire Rose Memories.
Features on both shops coming soon!

PS: If you are one of the winners of the first contest please email me your address info!

The Transition

When did this happen? It use to be when someone announced their pregnancy I was just glad it wasn’t me. Ok, it wasn’t that bad. Actually, it was more like rolling my eyes and thinking to myself: ‘Another one bites the dust.’ But that sentiment has since taken a one-eighty…

But on the other side of my spectrum it’s not all roses and butterflies either. It’s sadly also a bitter emotion… Jealousy.

When did this happen? I think I missed it… The transition from wanting a successful career more than anything else. From wanting a child (but not in the near future) to wanting a child NOW YESTERDAY. When did this happen?—HOW? What happened to me?!

I’ve had baby fever before. Yes, the bug has bit me, and then I built up an immunity towards it. But now I feel silly when I feel the aching in my stomach as I look at pictures of a newborn baby in her mother’s arms. What happened?!

How did I go from planning my future and goals of things to do with my husband to not wanting to do anything else but make a baby?.. To feeling a pit of depression every time another friend announces their pregnancy.

Who am I to feel that way? It’s not like I’ve been trying to have a child for months or years… Or ever. It’s not like I’m struggling with infertility, and wanting a child longer than all of my friends having children. Granted I have a right to feel this way too, but I seriously feel insane.

I wasn’t going to go for it… Try to bring a child into this world, until I knew I was sure. I couldn’t just try to “see what happens” because that would probably mean baby (yes, for people who don’t want it that’s what happens). To me, you either want it, and are trying, or you don’t try. But that didn’t mean I wasn’t expecting to feel a “maybe sortof” emotion for some time in between.

What happened to the middle ground? Wasn’t there suppose to be some transition here?… You know, don’t want a kid, sorta want a kid, wanting a kid more… more … ok for sure want a kid?

It’s like my maternal desire had been dormant for decades and all of a sudden it has awoken from the tomb inside me and has erupted like a massive volcano.

I’m trying to scrape the lava back inside me with a squeegee but it’s not working. I can’t contain it. I can’t deny it. I want a child, and I want it more than ever.

Can't wait to get this part started!

The Clock is Ticking!! Need Baby Makin' Secrets!

I can’t believe I’m so close… So close to taking the plunge. I’m ready, more ready than ever to try to join the mommy club. Things are falling into place better than I imagined. Don’t laugh, but I’ve had a countdown on my iPhone for a while. Counting down to the day my “baby makin machine” would turn “ON.” I remember looking at it when it was more than 100 days away. I’ve changed the date several times, but this time I think it’s sticking, and I’m finally only 32 days away… Ok, I’m going to just round down and say a MONTH! I’m so excited I’m literally thinking of making a paper chain.

Everything is falling into place too. I’m not a Suga Mama anymore! When I was in Chicago my husband got an interview and a JOB that he likes A LOT! I feel very blessed. The economy hit us pretty hard, but we’ve been blessed an able to rent out our condo for another year, and now this! I was ready to just go for it like NOW but we’ve agreed to stick with our September goal. But when I really think about it it’s like HOLY COW… Scary!! I’m excited, scared, and going into hyper-planning mode all at the same time!

I’m debating on all things pre-TTC, and my original goals and plans are all starting to change. I’m trying to decide if I still want to do a procreation vacation (aka baby-makin’ moon). Part of me does because it would be fun, but then part of me thinks I don’t care anymore, I just want to get this show on the road!! But then again I’ve talked about it and I think kicking it off in a fun way would be… Well, fun. And since I’ve talked about it for so long I kind of want to just do it the fun way like I planned. Oh, and can I just say I was looking at my Fertility Friend chart and it looks like I’ll be ovulating around the 1st of September, so who knows… Maybe I’ll get the first egg right away! What do you think? Baby-Makin Moon? Yay or nay? I'm also a little worried about over-planning and scaring my husband out of it. The goal is NOT to do that!!

Oh, and I know I’ve been a blogging slacker lately… At least for me. Blogher took a lot out of me. I’ll be doing more wrap ups on that later, but I’m hoping to get back into the routine of posting daily again! I’ve got a lot to say my (hopefully) LAST month pre-trying to be a mommy.

I’m looking up a lot of things about trying to conceive and so I have a question for you… Besides sex (obviously) if there was one thing that helped you get pregnant what do you think it was? I hear, laying down propped up at the hips for awhile helps. What else worked for you, or have you heard?

The Big Goal

I feel like I have so much to say and I haven't said it for fear of changing my mind, not sure if it was going to pull through, and other reasons, but I've decided to just LET IT ALL OUT today!

First off, I want to add a disclaimer to those who know me in real life (99% of you can probably skip down two paragraphs). "What happens on Baby Makin' Machine, STAYS on Baby Makin' Machine." And I'm not just talking about copyright issues or plagiarism. No, as far as I know I haven not fallen victim to this. I'm talking about what I'm saying here. Yes, I know it's a public blog and anyone who wants to read can read it, but I'd like to keep it at that.

Got a question? Ask me in the comments section, or in an email, I'd be more than happy to write a post answering it. I write about these things because it is easier to write about than talk about.

I wanted to get all of that out of the way before I said this. After six months of having this blog, going back and forth on when to try to have a baby. Debating whether or not I'm willing to sacrifice sleep. Getting off of hormonal birth control:...

I'VE SET A DATE!

See that switch at the top? Well my mental picture of my baby makin' machine switch looks a little like that and I've set a date to switch it on. I wasn't planning on blogging about it because I always thought when I turned my baby makin' machine "on" I'd want to keep it secret so everyone is surprised when they find out I'm with-spawn. Well, after much contemplation I've decided I will write about it, because it not only is a part of my journey but a HUGE part. And I think so many women are going through the same thing and hopefully what I go through, and what I learn can be helpful to them--AND women who have been through what I'm going through can share their tips--Yay!!

As for the date--Well, I said it first yesterday on Conceive Online. Oh yea, did I mention I'm the magazine's newest blogger? Check it out. If I'm not open enough here... You'll get all of the dirty details there. And join the "My Conceive" community and show your support for me there! The website was EXACTLY in my ballpark. I've never seen a more helpful site/magazine for where I am right now. It's ALL inclusive helpful information on before AND during TTC. The blog's name (which hubby helped me choose) is "Ready or Not."

But like I've said... The date... August or September. That's when I'm planning turning my baby makin' machine "on". I have been known to change my mind before--In fact, I didn't even blog about my last two goals... May and June. I sorta chickened out. Plus, there are a few things I'm trying to get done first.--For one, I'm going to the dentist again to get my cavities filled. I'm doing that in a few weeks. But this time, hubby and I are both working for this goal and feeling good about it. So I'm hopeful and planning on pulling through this time. I'll have been off hormonal birth control and taking prenatals or five months, and I've already for hubby hooked up with vitamins... Someone told me Zinc is somethin' a guy's gotta have so I went out and bought him some vitamins the next day. I'm hoping once I kick the machine into action it works, and that it isn't broken, but I'm taking steps to help with that too.

If you read this post last week, you'll know I've been a little nervous about being able to produce a baby. I mean... I haven't gotten pregnant on birth control and it seems like so many of my friends HAVE! I've also talked about my fear of turning into a Sex Natzi. Now that I know the rules to making a baby, and what helps, I plan to follow them to the best of my abilities to make a baby FAST.

In consequence to that, I know that can cause added stress and can cancel some of my progress. SO... I've decided to do something that will help lower stress, help with fertility AND cross something off my Baby Bucket List all at the same time... I'm going to try FERTILITY YOGA!

Cool, no? I have tried meditation once before, but never anything like this. I've been in touch with the wonderful women of Pulling Down the Moon, and (hopefully next month) I'll be starting a fertility yoga class here in Austin, and learn exercises I can do to help stimulate fertility, while lower my stress-level in the process.

I started reading Fully Fertile. Their book. It's a 12-week process to achieve optimum fertility. I'm suppose to read the entire book before starting the process, and I'm hoping to just be completing the process the same time I switch my machine "on."

I just finished reading the first section about breathing and yoga positions. I am DYING to get to it! I also read some good tips about good exercise and what's "too much." And another good cleansing tip I learned that I am SO starting ASAP is to drink a thermos-full of warm water and lemon daily. I don't normally like water with lemon but I think it'll be a fun experiment knowing it could help a little with getting ready for baby makin'! I'm also hoping to learn a lot more about good nutrition, healthy living, and things like that while reading this book.--I'll keep you updated on it!

I know a lot of people would see something like this and think that it's for people dealing with infertility.. And I thought that at first too, but then I realized that something like this is perfect for someone who is trying to get ready to have a baby. I know for some people it's just easy to do the freaky-deek and get pregnant, but for other's it takes work. I also know a lot of women who are going through "baby fever" and aren't sure what to do with themselves while they wait to finish school, or for their husbands to come around, or to accomplish a certain goal... I think stuff like this is great to do while you're passing the time.

I've said before that I don't think I'll have the "in-between" stage of "not trying, not preventing." In my eyes I either want to have a child, or I don't. And when I'm not preventing anymore I'm going to be trying to get pregnant.

I don't want to set myself up for disappointment, but I'm going to do some experiments the next few months. I'm going to try to do everything I can so I can get it right the first time. Worth a try right? We'll see! I will try my best NOT to be disappointed though if it doesn't happen right away--I can't control EVERYTHING. So I'm going to try not to stress in my planning, but have FUN in my planning. Make sense?

I'm going to be blogging about fertility yoga, and a lot more things I'm trying, reading, and experimenting with. I'm surprised by seeing the results of my poll, and seeing that so many future mama's like myself are reading my blog! It's nice to know I'm not in this boat alone... And I have lots of great stuff for future mamas and other women looking to make additional babies. I'm so excited for this commitment I'm making and the turn this blog is taking.

Hopefully this will not only continue my detailed diary, but also be helpful for others. So stay tuned for updates! And let the countdown begin!

Any advice?

***

To my real-life friends: If you read my blog--Thank you! But if you're a member of my family or a co-worker, I'd appreciate if my writings stayed with you and didn't become family/newsroom gossip. I only say this because I think sometimes things can get misconstrued, and all of a sudden, just because I want a baby one day, or have a dream about my child the next, I'm all of a sudden the "kid obsessed" person, or being asked if we're "trying to make a baby" in places I'd probably prefer not to talk about it. Sure, I'm an open person, and I'd be more than happy to talk with you about it in private.--I like to keep this blog (and my blog Twitter account) as my ONLY "public" forum. Thanks!

The Baby Makin' Machine Status Update

I know there was a lot of freak out over this post. I had been giving my updates on my whole IUD situation via Twitter and wasn't sure if I'd get around to blogging about it. I hadn't held back before so I figured why stop now?

There were a lot of questions and assumptions. One of my friends went as far as saying:

"Did I just miss something really really important-- you're OFF all forms of BC??? Wowza! That's amazing! I think I will just live vicariously through you right now because if one more person tells me right now is the perfect time for me to have a baby, I may kick them in the nuts."

Hunni, I know how you feel, and no, my baby making machine isn't "on" yet, therefore I am NOT off all forms of birth control if ya know what I mean (*wink wink nudge nudge*)

My baby makin' machine is warming up. Since The Removal, it's draining of it's old oil and getting back to it's eco-friendly state. I'm not brave enough to leave it on and running unattended yet... I'm still keeping a close watch and protecting it for now. Although I'll have to tell you I tried these and I hate it. No... I think I'm allergic or something cause it's no fun AT ALL. So instead I'm giving the NFP (which I'm going to have to do a whole 'nother post on) a little try as well as some of this.

I guess the chances of a slip up are higher now... That makes me think if a baby is what God wants me to have, he'll make it happen anyway. Although I know He can make anything happen... I've made that "anything" easier to achieve now, so "Bring it" I say, (If you want though, oh please, only if you want).

I will say though, I'm already paranoid up the Ying-Yang that I could be... Ya know--(I'm worried if I type it out it'll be true). Before, it felt like there was no chance it was gonna happen... I mean, technically there was a .01% chance, but I'm not one to beat the odds... Unless it's something bad, which in this case I guess I'm a little surprised it didn't happen. ANYWAY... Yea, I'm not sure how great that stuff mentioned above works, but I guess I'll find out in a couple of weeks... Wish me luck (no, don't wish that I'm preg--AHH I almost wrote it!).

I can feel it already... My nervousness... I have a feeling I'm going to be spending a lot of pregnancy tests again *sigh.* No No... I won't let myself. Not until I'm like 2 months late!

No, the IUD coming out did not hurt. That's an FAQ I get a lot. I heard rumors it would hurt way worse than getting it in, but I actually didn't feel a thing. A lot of people ask how I even got one before having a kid... I think it depends on your doctor. I have a couple other friends who have them too. And the biggest question of TTC?!?! And if it wasn't implied enough above, the answer is "No."